Saturday, December 24, 2011

What's your LEAST favorite "Christmas" song?

I did NOT link any of these songs to this blog on purpose!
If you haven't heard them, consider yourself lucky!

Here are my 5 LEAST favorite songs:
(they are either overplayed or confusing or insensitive, etc.)

Santa Claus is Coming to Town
by Bruce Springsteen
The song was recorded live and I'm sure it was a cool experience at that time ... but it just seems so contrived with "the Boss" laughing so hard at the end that he can't sing, blah, blah, blah. And I bet by now Clarence has practiced real hard and had santa bring him several new saxophones!

My Favorite Things
by Barbra Streisand
This song itself makes NO SENSE as a Christmas song!  Sure they are gifts and so that's remotely related, but Sir-Mix-Alot likes big butts ... and we don't hear about that every December.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
By Jackson 5
It should be a cute song, but I'm not a fan of young Michael Jackson (his voice and stage presence were still amazing ... I just don't like the tunes).  My big beef with this song is that it can be very confusing to little kids, who don't catch the humor.  I know that's supposed to be part of the humor of the song, but I don't like it.

Do They Know It's Christmas?
by Band-Aid
This is a horrible, horrible song. It is a perfect example of the lack of global awareness and "we are so much better than you" mentality the rest of the world sees the United States as viewing them with.  Let's break down just a few of the lines from this uber-famous song:
"There won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime." Um, really?! DUH! Might have to do with the proximity to the equator ... oh and also that southern hemisphere seasonal thing.
"Where nothing ever grows. No rain or river flows." Are you kidding me?! Ever hear of the Nile?! It's only a little bigger than a stream ... but I think it flows.

Last Christmas
by WHAM!
(but all versions are equally terrible)
I am not a fan of what seems like lazy lyric writing.  Although it fits into the song and melody, the chorus is just awful.  Let's take it in two parts:
"Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day, you gave it away."
First, if your gift to this other person was just ... your heart ... then YOU may be the worst gift-giver ever.  No wonder they re-gifted it!
Second, honestly how could they actually do this?  Even if you're talking about it metaphorically, how does someone give your heart away?  "Hey dude ... here's the heart of this other person.  Enjoy!")
"This year, to save ME from tears, I'll give it to somebody special (special)."
First, gift-giving is supposed to be a self-less not selfish act ... and we're back to you being the worst gift-giver ever.
Second, your version of "someone special" might need a closer look ... 'cause last year you thought I was special ... so perhaps you are just a horrible judge of potential soul mates (or whatever you hoped I was).
Overall, this is just a depressing song and that is NOT the way I prefer to celebrate the holiday ... but they play this song over and over and over again!

It had to be done ... now I can move on with my life ...


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