Sunday, December 18, 2011

Have you ever felt like a superhero?

It is 5:35pm and a door opens.  Our hero enters.

In the kitchen are family members engaged in a variety of things.  Two boys are opening wrappers from Hershey's kisses and placing pretzels on a cookie sheet to make snacks.  The mother is making dinner (with an assortment of supplies all around her).  Our hero's oldest daughter is sweeping ... or attempting to sweep ... or attempting to look like she is sweeping.

Our hero has brought in peppers and plastic cups from the trip to the store he had to make on the way home from work.  He surveys the scene and immediately realizes there are several dozen tasks that need to be completed in preparation for the party later that evening.

He springs into action ... in a calm, calculated manner.  But the thin smile across his face hides a mind filled with fury (our hero is working on silently counting to ten to control his temper).

Our hero carries all the boxes of unused christmas decorations out to the garage.

Next, he collects coats from the closet to make room for those of the anticipated guests.  Smartly, our hero had previously used his level and measuring tape to properly position the "extra" closet rod that can accomodate more coats ... just for a night like this.

While walking toward the bedroom, arms full of coats, his middle daughters shout out "Daddy!  The toilet's clogged."  This will have to wait a little while.

Returning from the bedroom he carries the recycleable soda cans to the garage and drops the cans into their temporary home (a big black trash bag).  It will be months before they will be taken to the recycling drop-off station, with several other bags of their friends.

Our hero is efficient with his time and brings the toilet snake in from the garage.  Another box has appeared which he quickly tosses into the garage.  He then returns to the bathroom and swiftly snakes the toilet clog down the drain.  He has no time to further entertain his two fears related to this situation:
#1. one or more of his kids has a serious bowel problem or inability to wipe it clean with less than a whole roll of toilet paper
#2. at some unknown and unpredicatable future point it is likely going to be VERY expensive to pay for a full septic tank replacement.

He drops the soda can bucket back in the kitchen and then assists his daughter in pushing the table back in place (apparently, she did sweep).  All the while with the non-dripping toilet snake (he has learned how to hold it so it doesn't drip) in his left hand.

That's when he sees it.  SIGH.  One of the brackets that holds the door that he had fashioned to cover the large cubby hole under the TV area in the family room has completely popped out of it's hole.  This is most frustrating because it has happened several times before ... but this time is is beyond simple repair.  He heads to the garage to grab some "supplies" and has a brilliant idea on a more permanent solution.  But it will require more work than he realistically has time for ... unless ...

Our hero locates the remnant of a old window covering (he keeps these sorts of things in his organized garage for just such an occasion) and begins to clear off the Mitre Saw he has hidden next to the large trash can.  In a flash it is plugged in and he cuts a small piece of material to serve as a new "mount" for the screw that holds the closet-door bracket in place.  He replaces all of his tools, etc. (what a novel concept!) to their storage locations (foreshadowing a future sub-plot) and then heads into the house armed with the mount, some screws and his cordless screwdriver/drill.

On the way to the scene of the next "victory of tools" our hero realizes that the kitchen trash can is full.  Apparently his super-powers of sight are the only ones that can see this issue so he pulls it out, ties it off, sets it aside for pick-up on a future return trip to the garage, and replaces the bag.

In a flash the door is removed, the bracket adjusted, the screws replaced, the bracket reattached, and the door re-hung in a much better (but unlikely to last very long with the way it gets misused) way.  Our hero collects his tools and heads for the garage (grabbing the trash bag on the way) to put things back where they belong.

In the distance the faint sound of a dryer buzzing can be heard.  The towels for the main bathroom are now clean and dry and ready to be hung back up.  On the return trip from the garage our hero removes the towels and heads to the bathroom to hang them.  Of course!  The towel rack is loose (this happens all too often with multiple kids of single-digit ages living in the house).  This is an easy fix though and our hero has the right tools for the job ... except ... they are not where he left them.  Crap.

His hero-in-training son uses his highly evolved brain to identify the location of the small screwdriver set and sets out to retrieve and deliver them to his mentor.  In moments his sidekick support is instrumental in our hero being triumphant.

Screwdrivers in hand, our hero tightens the loose screws and then properly folds the towels so they look nice and all fit on the rod without damaging it ... or the wall.  Mentally he reminds himself that, yet again, the time has come to teach his children how to fold towels and show them the tiny little screw that comes loose (which is why you can't hang on these rods!)

The screwdriver set is returned to it's designated place in the garage.

The clock reads 6:05pm.

Our hero sits down ... and ... writes ... this ... blog.


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