Where does that ranking come from ?
I know there is a logical answer to that question, which I would research if I actually cared where the rankings generate, but I prefer to make my own snarky assessment and answer to the question in my entirely made-up way. :)
|Who else would you have hosting ?!|
I am your host, George Clooney.
Let's get right to the competition for Top Surgeon in the world! In a heated (and very LONG) battle between Dr. Heimlich and Dr. Jones, the young surgeon from upstate New York has defeated the former world-champion from Germany in the most shocking upset of the tournament. Heimlich just seemed to choke under the pressure and now he will have to wait until next year's World Surgery Championships to attempt to regain his top ranking. That has got to hurt his advertising efforts for new appendectomy patients. Tough break for him.
Over in the doctor bracket, the up-and-coming Dr. Zhivago continues her rapid ascent up the rankings after solid defeats of Dr. Feelgood in the round of 64, Dr. Pepper in the 2nd round, Dr. Scholls in the Not-so-Sweet Sixteen, and Dr. Ruth in the Elite-like Eight. She now has her toughest competition yet in the overall #1 seeded Dr. Doctor, who has been "giving the news" to all of his opponents with reckless abandon throughout the last two weeks.
On the other side of that bracket Dr. No has been seen chanting his own name as a taunt ("Did I win Doctor? ... Nooooooo!) to each opponent he has out-diagnosed for several rounds. Left in his wake are Dr. Huxtable (who was disqualified for a racial slur), Dr. Doolittle (who lived up to his name and just sat there!), Dr. Quinn (who looked like she hasn't practiced medicine in centuries!), and Dr. J (who kept trying to dunk his patients into their beds ... awkward!) His Final Four opponent, Doogie Howser, M.D., retired from competition to host an obscure awards show in Bollywood, so the notorious villian Dr. No awaits his Championship foe.
|Dr. Ross from|
#4. General Hospital
#5. Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital
#6. St Jude's Hospital
#7. Johns Hopkins
#9. Memorial Hospital
#10. Children's Hospital
That's all the time we have for you this evening. Be sure to check your evening news for the final results of this exciting competition! I'm off to plan Ocean's 14 with all my buddies that are now WAY too cool to be TV Doctors! Ciao bella!
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