Sunday, March 9, 2014

You Wrote A Post About WHAT ?!

This post is indeed about sex.

I'll clarify that for my purposes I am referring very specifically to sex between a man and woman who are legally and lawfully wedded to one another.

Sex is beautiful. Sex is fun. Sex is essential for a healthy marriage. Sex is sacred and special, but it doesn't have to be so secretive. Sex in a marriage should be about more than just procreation.

I love and appreciate all my parents taught me growing up, but there were never any open discussions about sex. My siblings and I all joked, when we got older, that with three September birthdays, we knew dad "got lucky" around Christmas or New Years. My older brother is the lone July birthday (go ahead and make your own pun about celebrating Labor Day).

Sometimes sex just fixes things. It reassures each partner of love and affection from their spouse. It can be a selfless act of service. Make Up sex has the power to sooth over hurt feelings and clear the clutter of emotions or extreme logic from a wife or husband. The acts of foreplay before and cuddling after, produce physical and emotional feelings of closeness and connectivity. This is essential in a healthy marriage.

With 7 kids, I often get questioned by unintentionally rude people who ask "do you know how that happens?" Well yes, of course I do.  I usually just laugh it off, but I really want to suggest that they reconsider if they are engaging in that experience as a couple as often as they ought to be.  Sometimes jealousy comes out of our mouths as mockery of others.

If any of my children are reading this now (or perefrably in future years once you are married yourself), please take this advice in the right context. Talk with your spouse about sex. Ask questions to understand how to support their preferences; including frequency, foreplay, timing, positions, who initiates, bedroom talk, fantasies, and anything else that might come up.

It is nearly impossible to have a heathy relationship of any kind without open communication. Add in the nuances around sex and you can almost guarantee failure or sadness in a marriage if you don't communicate openly and honestly about it.

To be clear, but not crude, I love my wife and am grateful for her open communications about all things in our marriage, including sex.  I hope this post does not offend anyone.  The subject has come up in my mind as something worth writing about far too often for me to continue skipping over it.  If we could talk more openly about the positive attributes of a healthy sexual relationship, I think the world wouldn't be so focused on all the negatives surrounding it.  Sometimes evil or carnal things seem to win because good or spiritual refuses to speak up.

Song(s) Of The Day:
There are plenty of songs about sex out there, and most are written from a vulgar perspective.  That is sad because sex really is a wonderful thing.  I know it is a part of God's plan for us on this earth, and it can be a very spiritual experience if approached with respect and true love, not just lustful or carnal desires.
There are no song links in this post (you can youtube search on your own because I don't know what the videos might display that could turn any of these songs from useful to degrading or basal).  I love the following tunes related to a healthy sexual relationship (again, I stress that my beliefs are that this is between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded):  "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye, "Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt 'N Pepa, "I Want Your Sex" by George Michael, and "I'll Make Love To You" by Boyz II Men.
If you listen to the words of these songs in the right frame of mind each one of these expresses important truths about a healthy sexual relationship with your spouse.

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