It was a Wednesday morning and I'd arrived at work a little early to get a jump start on what looked to be a full day when an IM (instant message) popped up on my screen. It was from the hiring Manager for a position I had applied for at my current employer. I had interviewed in person with this woman just the prior Friday afternoon and felt good, but not great, about the meeting. Now here she was very early in the day asking if she could call me to chat. A million thoughts ran through my head at once, including my preparation to politely accept her declining me for the role. As it turned out, I did not need that concession speech.
After swallowing my initial shock, I listened as my eventual new boss praised my interview and the skills she was excited that I would bring to the role. It's always nice to hear someone sincerely praise you but that doesn't make it any easier to accept or believe their kind words when you've always struggled with self doubt. While I was thrilled to accept the new role and responsibilities associated with it, I was equally terrified of feeling like I may be in over my head. So much so, in fact, that I was actually trembling a little through the remainder of the conversation.
Over the next few days, I was privileged to receive praise from numerous peers, especially after my promotion was officially announced to our Colorado site and the other Training leaders across the country. But every time I heard praise, I found myself filled with an equal amount of personal criticism. I felt unworthy of the confidence that so many people had in my abilities, including what appears to be each person in the Training department that will soon be reporting to me.
To be clear, this isn't a lack of confidence because I was misleading or false in my interviews for the role. I was plainly honest, including in several examples that didn't really put me in the best light. This is a sincere "I hope I don't let any of these great people down" kind of doubt, which will only go away after a few weeks or months in the new position. There is no logical reason to believe I will be anything less than successful in this role, but I've always been slow to accept any feelings of competence or better until I've really proven myself for a while.
To anyone reading this post who may have been among those who provided me with support or praise before, during, or after the interviewing process, I offer the sincerest of thank you's. Any success I am able to achieve in this role will surely be a testament to you as much, if not more, than it is to me. I wouldn't have even tried if it wasn't for your pestering belief in me. I'll never be able to forget that and will always be grateful to you!
Song Of The Day:
People that only listen to recent popular songs are missing some seriously amazing music. I know I get caught up in just scrolling through the pre-programmed radio stations, but when I venture to music apps on my phone or iPad, I have found some of my favorite tunes.
One of these is "Baby (You've Got What It Takes)" which is a great duet by Dinah Washington and Brook Benton. I know it's clearly a love song, but the message can be one of personal inspiration when facing a new challenge. I've been listening to it over the past week as I have prepared to take on this new role at work and it pumps me up a little and reminds me that I do have what it takes to be successful in learning the responsibilities of my new job.