Wednesday, February 12, 2014

What Foul ?!

It usually only takes one or two pick-up games with someone before you can tell their Basketball Personality type.  There are dozens of different types, but only two that I simply cannot play with: the "I never foul anyone" guy ... and ... the "elbows, knees, and cheap shots" guy.  Often, these two descriptions fit the same person.

The problem with the "I never foul anyone" guy is that he gets fouled EVERY time he misses, whether there is anyone NEAR him or not.  And then, when he leaves a recognizable hand-print on your arm, (from where he slapped you so hard it could be heard inside another gym miles away) and you call a foul (because he NEVER will), the look on his face is sheer incredulousness.  That guy makes me want to respond in kind ... so instead, I usually just stop playing until his team is off the floor.

For those who said I was just acting hurt,
here is the bruise picture proof
that I did, in fact, get fouled (elbowed) HARD!
The problem with the "elbows, knees, and cheap shots" guy is that he misunderstands the concept of basketball being a "non-contact sport."  Of course it's not entirely non-contact.  It can't be.  But that doesn't mean that you should swing all the way to the other end of the spectrum and ensure contact at every opportunity!  This is the guy who sticks his knee out when you get past him on a drive to the hoop.  Or the guy who never learned how to play proper defense.  So when your back is turned to him, his immediate response is to initiate the kind of spooning that should be reserved for married couples in the privacy of their own bedroom.  He also lives by the motto "nothing easy" which means it's going to hurt if you plan to shoot or score.

When either of these guys shows up while I am playing basketball, I quickly change defensive assignments or, if necessary, stop playing entirely.  It's just better that way.

Song Of The Day:
Every time I call a foul and someone complains about it I wish there was a huge stereo that would immediately break into the chorus from the song "Would I Lie To You?" by Charles and Eddie.  Can't we all just accept each other's calls?


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