Monday, October 14, 2013

Why Are YOU Using The Tall One ?

Ladies, this is not a situation you've ever had to deal with so you are excused from having to read on if you would like to spend your time somewhere else.

Gentlemen, if this is YOU, please correct your behavior.  It's just the right thing to do.  For you.  For me.  For society.  For the janitorial staff.

In many restrooms that cater to "Men" there are two different heights of urinals available for use.  One might think this is to support more boys and men but it really has nothing to do with our age.  It has to do with your height.  If you're of average or shorter than average height, then you should generally choose to use the shorter urinals, and the taller ones should be used by the taller males.

Without being too crude about it, no matter how good your "aim" is, it is always easier to hit your target when it is at the right height to begin with.  A taller man begins his aiming in the middle of the taller urinal.  But if he uses a shorter urinal, his aim begins slightly above the top of the urinal.  This means he has to be very aware to adjust the natural flow of events to avoid unwanted liquids to end up on the flushing mechanism.  In similar but reverse fashion, a shorter individual using a taller urinal has to direct the flow onward and upward to avoid missing the drain entirely, thus rendering the floor and the shoes of anyone in the vicinity as the final resting place for bodily fluid waste.

To my brethren out there ... can I get an AMEN?!  Can we not band together and begin to expect everyone to use an appropriate height urinal?!  Tall or short, it is equally frustrating to have to use a urinal that is not at our height!

Song Of The Day:
Before he became a regularly Oscar-nominated Disney song writer, Randy Newman put together several albums with quite a variety of messages.  One of my personal favorites is "Short People" and when some short jerk takes the tall stall instead of the appropriately sized one, I secretly sing this song in my mind while finishing my business.  Short people got no reason to live ...


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