Isn't That Kind Of Backwards?

I am a father of seven children.  They are each wonderful, at least some of the time.  Sadly it is a rare occurrence when they are all wonderful at the same time, but looking at the odds I guess I can't complain.

It is important that you understand how much I love my kids, collectively and individually, because what I'm about to write will almost certainly give you reasons to believe I do not even like them.

Father's Day is one of a few days each year when I actually don't feel guilty doing what I want (the others are my birthday and every other wedding anniversary - since Karen gets to pick our activities on even year anniversaries).

I recognize the irony here, but sometimes, the thing I want most on MY Father's Day is to have those that call me dad just not bug me all day long.  No requests for reading books.  No listening to pointless stories with no plot or recurring characters.  No jokes that make no sense but require me to laugh like they're hilarious.  No reaching toys or other things from high shelves.  No changing diapers or helping comb hair.  No having to explain why Game 5 of the NBA Finals is important or answering who I want to win.  No sharing some of my bacon or ice cream or having to justify why I get whatever snack I feel like and you only get cookies (you GET cookies !!  When I was a kid that was a great day!). No making yucky sounds when I kiss your mother a little longer than you think I should.  No grumbling when I ask you to pick up YOUR mess in MY house.  No fixing you another plate of dinner before I've even had my first helping.  No pumping bike tires, or your basketball, or even getting something out of the attic since it's 'finally summertime.'

None of it.

I just want to NOT be an "all-the-time daddy" for just a little while.  Yes I will miss it and gladly take back my responsibilities tomorrow.  Yes I will find life a little more hollow when it's all about me today.  Yes I will reflect back on the day and wonder why I wanted to be alone.  Yes I will have made a mental list of things we will do as father and kids within the coming month and be excited about checking things off it soon.

But today ... I think I want some ME time.


Song Of The Day:
There's a recent song on the radio called "Am I Wrong" by Nico and Vinz.  The lyrics seem to be written as a love song, which I think can mostly be interpreted to fit into a father's love for his children.  I also like that the title is a fitting commentary for this post.  Is it really that wrong to want a few days of ME time each year?  Is it really wrong to want to not have to be a hard-working father on Father's Day?
Yeah, probably ... But it's my day so that's what I'm choosing!

Why Are My Kids So Uptight ?

I must preface this post by saying that I am NOT asking this title questions about my kids.  Other than on certain occasions (usually when they are hungry), my kids are NOT uptight, needy, high-maintenance, quick to complain, or otherwise so tightly wound that they cannot deal with even minor changes.

I love my kids and am grateful for

their positive approach to life!

I AM talking about other people's kids.  You know whose kids I am referring to.  It shouldn't take you more than a few moments to remember a recent scenario when you thought aloud to yourself "Whose KIDS are those?!"  And if you're like me, when you do see the parents you might make a fairly quick judgement like "Ohhhh, that makes sense."

I would apologize for any parents this may offend, but I'm NOT sorry.  In fact, you need to hear this and I might as well be the one to tell you.  I am not a perfect parent by any definition of the role, but in my years of parenting I have gained some useful knowledge (much of it from making plenty of mistakes).

Sadly, much of your child's crankiness is NOT a natural reaction, but has been nurtured into them.
 - If they are picky about what they eat, think back on when you catered to their preferences ... or perhaps went the other way and forced too much on them.
 - If your child gets cranky WAY early and wakes up WAY early, remember when you trained them with that schedule through your actions.
 - If your child does not "play well with others" (is bothered by loud noises, has difficulty sharing, doesn't seem to make friends easily, doesn't trust other people, cannot handle being in large group settings, etc.) ... the issue almost always begins with YOU.

Kids model what they see.  For better or worse.
I think most grandparents realize this, which is why they are so much nicer and patient with grandkids than they were with their own children.  With experience has come some wisdom.  "Ohhhhhh, why is he acting like that?!  ... Wait.  I act like that!  Eureka!" and then they improve their own behavior to the betterment of everyone around them.

So please stop complaining about how rough life is with your kiddos.  Stop whining that they never let you leave them alone for a date night or to read a book.  Stop blaming them for being an interruption in your life.  Instead, start recognizing that their behavior is a reflection of YOUR BEHAVIOR and if you want them to change, perhaps YOU should change first.


Song Of The Day:
Flipping the tone of this post from negative (toward these complaining parents) to positive, here is "Come With Me" by Phil Collins.  Listen to the lyrics because they make me think of a loving parent who helps their children be better than them by teaching them how to not repeat their mistakes.  I hope that I can do that for my children.

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Which One Are You Going To Be Today ?

Any parent knows that their kids are going to bring them great joy ... and also LOTS of stressful situations.  There is a constant question in my mind, which I believe ALL parents ask themselves about each of their children from time to time: Which one of your personalities am I going to be seeing today?

Seven different kids, each with many different moods, leads to an infinite number of combinations of chaos in the Case Place.  On any given day, there will undoubtedly be a tired kid, an angry kid, a sad kid, an excited kid, a hungry kid, and several happy or content kids.  This doesn't even account for the variations of mommy or daddy moods.

So the other day when I saw the following set-up in the supermarket, I realized that it didn't just apply to my daughter Catalina, but was representative of ALL my kiddos ... although I think 'fat free' is a bit of a stretch for anyone!  :)

Song Of The Day:
Despite the stresses and shifting emotions each day, I'm so happy to have all of my kids and my awesome wife in my life.  Kelly Clarkson's song "My Life Would Suck Without You" is very accurate.  How boring would it be without a little dressing on our salad of life?  Love my kids!

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