When Was Your Last Epiphany ?

Every so often I feel like I've had an epiphany.  They are probably just momentary insights that feel more impressive than they actually are, but for me they can mean a great deal.

I had one today.

While contemplating an upcoming interview for a promotion and job change at work, I found myself filled with terrible fears and feelings of inadequacy.  Historically, my approach in these situations has been to fill my life with stress and anxiety all through the preparation and actual interview process.  I consider the interviewer and try to analyze what they will be looking for.  I consider my own experiences and try to tailor them to the needs I am perceiving this hiring manager wants to hear.  I convince myself which examples I should use and which ones I have to avoid, because they don't fit my preconceived notions of what the interviewer is hoping to hear.

Today I came to the realization that I've been approaching these the wrong way ... for years!

My "epiphany" is this: just be me.

It is not my responsibility to understand or try to conceptualize what this interviewer is looking for.  Sure it is good to have a general idea of what applies and what is irrelevant, but I've been WAY overthinking things.  The interviewer needs to get to know ME in the interview, not some highlighted version of what I have been or could be some of the time.  Sure that might enhance my chances of landing the job, but then I might be the wrong candidate for the role ... and if that happens then we'll all regret it later.

No, I need to just be ME.

I need to convey who I am, what things I am passionate about, what MY vision of the role is, and where I feel I am perfectly suited to help bring about changes in the group.  THEN, if my vision and that of the hiring manager are aligned, I'll be the "perfect choice" and there should be no worry about whether I got the job or not.  How could I not?  BUT if who I am isn't the right fit for that role, they will go a different direction ... and why does that have to be a bad thing?  It isn't.  I'd be miserable in the role if what I envisioned it to be was changed.  And I'd be disappointing to those I am working with and for if I promised to be something that I really am not.

This change in approach has left me feeling VERY peaceful regarding the upcoming interview ... because the only pressure on me is to be ME and make sure the interviewer knows who I am and my skills.  If I get the job, then I was the right fit.  If not, I'm still a great person with great skills, they are just suited for something other than this role at this time.


Song Of The Day:
Although his style has changed over the decades, I've always enjoyed Phil Collins' music.  On his Testify CD, he has a song titled "Thru My Eyes" which I immediately loved.  I picked that song for today's post thinking about the perspective of the interviewer.  If I, as a candidate, during the interview, can truly convey my approach to things, then they will be much better equipped to make the right hiring decision because they will be able to see the role through my eyes.  This will either reinforce that what they were looking for is a shared vision, or it may open up their eyes to different perspectives on how the role could be fulfilled.

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How Am I Short ?

Short post today because it's a picture blog.  Below are the before and after pictures from the activities today ... dirt and fertilizer spread, sprinklers hooked up and running, and sod laid down in our park-sized front yard!

BEFORE (fertilized dirt pile not spread yet)

 

DURING (fertilized dirt now spread - different view)

AFTER (sod installed - original view)

The title of the post is in reference to the amount of sod I ordered.  After much discussion and measuring (once we realized we were nearly 250 square feet short on sod), the error in my initial math became very clear.  Somehow I forgot that the front easement is just as long as the rest of the yard.  I had calculated it at half the length, which accounted for the whole error.

HUGE thanks to my brothers-in-law Brian L and Rick L for their hard work in the yard.  Brian even took my dad in a rush to go and pick up 21 more rolls of sod (how *convenient was it that Brian's van already had the seats taken out?!)  Their backs and arms and whole bodies must be sore, but my yard looks excellent!  Thanks also to my sons Josh Jr and Ben, as well as my nephew Daniel for their help too.

And here is one more "after" picture of the "finished" front yard.  I took several photos of the yard before (with rocks and weeds and general not-looking-good type landscaping) but I cannot seem to find them on our computer.  :(

Song Of The Day:
There is no more appropriate song today, with new sod in the yard, than "I Wish It Would Rain Down" by Phil Collins.  I would be most grateful to Mother Nature if she would see fit to rain down on my new sod and help it take root.  It's a bit late in the year to get sod in, but with the right moisture we should be just fine (if the cold temperatures could hold off for another 4-6 weeks that would be icing on the cake!)

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Can Anything Become Boring ?

It seems to me that no matter what work or play or activity a person is involved in, the saying "moderation in all things" should apply ... if only from the standpoint that ANYTHING can become boring if you do it too much.

I love each of the following activities, but they all fit the category of "boring" if I do them too often or for too long in a row:
 - Listening to music
 - Playing a board game (or a sport - even basketball or golf)
 - Answering or auditing phone calls
 - Writing a blog
 - Eating ice cream

It is true when they say "too much of a good thing" can keep you from appreciating it fully.  This is why I worry about retirement.  At that point I will, theoretically, have lots of time on my hands.  But how will I keep enough variety in my routine to keep from becoming bored?  I think this must happen to everyone around retirement time.  I just like to plan ahead if I can.


Song Of The Day:
The video for the song "Everyday" by Dave Matthews Band is a great visual for monotony of repeated activities.  The tune has a very monotonous feel to it as well.  I also like "Everyday" by Phil Collins because it shows how heartache can become boring too.

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Why Are My Kids So Uptight ?

I must preface this post by saying that I am NOT asking this title questions about my kids.  Other than on certain occasions (usually when they are hungry), my kids are NOT uptight, needy, high-maintenance, quick to complain, or otherwise so tightly wound that they cannot deal with even minor changes.

I love my kids and am grateful for

their positive approach to life!

I AM talking about other people's kids.  You know whose kids I am referring to.  It shouldn't take you more than a few moments to remember a recent scenario when you thought aloud to yourself "Whose KIDS are those?!"  And if you're like me, when you do see the parents you might make a fairly quick judgement like "Ohhhh, that makes sense."

I would apologize for any parents this may offend, but I'm NOT sorry.  In fact, you need to hear this and I might as well be the one to tell you.  I am not a perfect parent by any definition of the role, but in my years of parenting I have gained some useful knowledge (much of it from making plenty of mistakes).

Sadly, much of your child's crankiness is NOT a natural reaction, but has been nurtured into them.
 - If they are picky about what they eat, think back on when you catered to their preferences ... or perhaps went the other way and forced too much on them.
 - If your child gets cranky WAY early and wakes up WAY early, remember when you trained them with that schedule through your actions.
 - If your child does not "play well with others" (is bothered by loud noises, has difficulty sharing, doesn't seem to make friends easily, doesn't trust other people, cannot handle being in large group settings, etc.) ... the issue almost always begins with YOU.

Kids model what they see.  For better or worse.
I think most grandparents realize this, which is why they are so much nicer and patient with grandkids than they were with their own children.  With experience has come some wisdom.  "Ohhhhhh, why is he acting like that?!  ... Wait.  I act like that!  Eureka!" and then they improve their own behavior to the betterment of everyone around them.

So please stop complaining about how rough life is with your kiddos.  Stop whining that they never let you leave them alone for a date night or to read a book.  Stop blaming them for being an interruption in your life.  Instead, start recognizing that their behavior is a reflection of YOUR BEHAVIOR and if you want them to change, perhaps YOU should change first.


Song Of The Day:
Flipping the tone of this post from negative (toward these complaining parents) to positive, here is "Come With Me" by Phil Collins.  Listen to the lyrics because they make me think of a loving parent who helps their children be better than them by teaching them how to not repeat their mistakes.  I hope that I can do that for my children.

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How Do You Unwind After A Long Day ?

As expected, today was looooong and tiring.  Getting to bed late last night because of the concert and an absolutely every minute is filled with meetings schedule at work combined to exhaust me today.  So instead of working on more "projects" I rewarded myself with a chance to unwind.

Two things help me "unwind" more than anything else, at least when I'm a temporary bachelor anyway.  First, exercise (in this case basketball).  Second, stand up comedy routines (in this case, some good clean fun with "Thou Shalt Laugh 2" and not as clean but just as funny stuff from Ben Bailey).  When I am feeling beaten down from the day's events (and not in the mood to read), either of these activities will quickly lift my spirits and re-energize me.  But tonight, getting to do BOTH completely relaxed me!

I recommend Ben Bailey's comedy special, available on Netflix.  If you don't recognize the name, I know you'll recognize the face.  He's the Cash Cab guy ... and that is actually part of his bit.  I won't say more or I'll spoil it.  But I will say that I plan to watch it again when Karen comes home, even if she doesn't laugh as loud as I will.  :)

So how do you unwind?  A good book?  Some wine on the back porch?  A relaxing bath or massage?  Listening to music?  Meditating?
Whatever you choose, I hope you take time to let yourself relax, especially after a crazy busy day.  You deserve it!

Song Of The Day:
I've included two versions of the song for today, because both are just so excellent.  Phil Collins performs the original "Take Me Home" but don't miss the opportunity to hear the Tufts Beelzebubs' version linked HERE.  I honestly can't decide which one I like better.

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What Are The Odds ?

Some people are just board game playing kinds of people.  That very much describes my wife and I (and most of our truly good friends).  Of the millions of ways you can spend time as a couple or in small groups, playing a board game is one of the best.

A few months ago we came into possession of a Clue: Master Detective board game, which we found out later is out of print.  This makes it a rarity in and of itself, but what makes it more special is that my wife loves this game!  I did not know this, so when I picked it up from my parents (who were just clearing some things they haven't used in years) I had no idea that it would make my wife so happy to have.

So after sitting on our game shelf for a while, we finally pulled the game down to play it (when our friends - Aaron and Britney - stayed with us for a few nights).  We must have played about 10-12 rounds of the game over two evenings and here is the really weird thing ... in EVERY single game we played, the eventual "murderer" was either Aaron's character piece or mine.

For a little context, in Master Detective there are 10 different possible murder suspects.  So there was only a 40% chance in any ONE game that the murderer would be one of our 4 characters ... but it was Aaron or I every single time!

What is even weirder is that we played the game another 3-4 times with some other combinations of people (Jeremy, Jordan and Erin, just Aaron and Karen and I) ... and only ONCE was the murderer NOT one of our characters' playing pieces.  That makes about 14 of 15 times which is statistically almost impossible (50%, 40%, or 30% chance in just one game ... but over all these games it is just unexplainable).

Song Of The Day:
I'm as big a Phil Collins fan as Karen is a Clue Master Detective fan.  His song "Against All Odds" is a great tune and perfectly fits with this blog post subject.  Some of the lines in the song are eerily fitting "you're the only one who really knew me at all" and "there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face" are two quick examples.

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