What Really Matters ?

Sometimes in life, situations can lead us to think disparaging thoughts.  We can then dwell on those thoughts until we find ourselves visibly angry.  The simple power of an idea or concern repeated in our self-talk can raise our blood pressure, increase our heart rate, and even clench our teeth or fists in a building rage or disappointment.  If left unchecked, this can eliminate positive thoughts entirely and destroy relationships or personal progress.

Yesterday I was in that very place, thinking those very negative thoughts, and finding myself righteously indignant toward a certain person whose words and actions justified (note the sarcasm intended here) my angry mood.  I couldn't focus on my work.  I couldn't generate any motivation to clear items on ANY of my To Do Lists.  All I could focus on was the growing anger and resentment toward this person and their actions.

I tried to vent my frustrations to my loving wife, who has I assume willingly listened to more than her fair share of these mini-tirades in our many years together.  But it didnt help.  In fact, it seemed to make things worse.  The more I spoke, the more angry and hurt I became.  I began to question the value of anything I was investing my time in.  Why does any extra effort matter when something so tiny can negate all of that positive performance?  It was rough, and my wife doesn't deserve to hear such harsh language, so I walked away.  But being alone didn't help either.

A small amount of time passed.  The kids were sent to bed, but my youngest son, Spencer, just over a year old, seemed unwilling to go to sleep in my wife's arms.  This is unusual because he always wants her to put him to sleep.  Realizing that she might need a break, I softly took him from her arms and went to his room to sing him to sleep.  He immediately stopped fussing and began his put-me-to-sleep humming sound.  After a few Harry Connick Jr songs (he seems pretty partial to "I've Got A Great Idea" from the We Are In Love CD), it hit me ... THIS is what really matters.

After laying him down, I went back in the family room to chat with my wife.  She mentioned that Spencer must have just needed some 'daddy time' but I don't think that's true.  I think daddy needed some Spencer time to remind him what really matters.


Song Of The Day:
I knew that I would be writing this blog today, but wasn't sure what would be a good song to accompany the post.  Then this morning, a work friend's Facebook post reminded me of a song I love that I haven't heard in years.  "Seven"  by Prince* is not a song about kids, but it is a song about love and it also makes me think of my seven children and how they (plus my wife of course) are what really matters in my life.
*Sadly I could not find a link for the original song by Prince, so this one is performed a capella by the Brown Jabberwocks.  It's pretty good, but I LOOOOOVE the original Prince version.

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Why Do You Unfriend People?

I recently noticed that I had been unfriended on Facebook by someone I thought I was reasonably close with.  I'm guessing this has happened to at least some of you out there and I wondered if my reaction was way off base.

Initially I was offended.  Not because the person unfriended me, but more because of the way they handled it.

Let me set the scene a little bit:
I originally became friends with this person on Facebook because we began working together more frequently.  We often talked about things outside of work, so I felt a friend request would be appropriate.  Apparently this individual felt so too because they accepted the invite literally minutes after I sent it.
Then, a few months ago I was just casually speaking with this person and they brought up that they were having to "take a break from Facebook" and "shut their account down."   I understood and actually commended the individual for stepping away if they felt like they needed to.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I noticed they had commented on a mutual friend's post.  It was at this time that I realized this person was no longer listed on my friends page.

Come again now.  What happened to this "break from Facebook"?  And how did this break lead to my removal in their friends list while everyone else appears to still be connected with them?


Obviously it is their decision and I have unfriended people myself.  But I think what rubbed me the wrong way was their deception around it.  I didn't ask them about it, nor do I plan to (what would be the benefit of doing so?)  They brought the topic up themselves and offered up the information about shutting down their account.  And it is that fake discussion around it that leaves me with a lesser opinion of them.  Sadly, it has changed my relationship with this individual and I no longer have the trust in them I thought we had developed over the years.


Song Of The Day:
I love the tune "Why" by Annie Lennox and it fits well with this post.  There are bittersweet harmonies in the song and just general confusion and angst in the lyrics.  But overall I still view it as a happy tune ... and I'm not unhappy about the "loss" of this "friend" on Facebook.  I just hope they can be a little more honest with themselves and others in the future.  Because, if not, they will almost certainly find themselves with regrets later in life.  And that's no way to live.

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How Long Will I Be Able To Beat All My Kids ?

I'm betting this blog post will catch more readers than usual, if only because the title seems to suggest I am a horrible human being and even worse father.  It will be interesting to see how many comments I get when I post it to Facebook ... hopefully people will read on before misjudging.  :)

"Let's wrestle daddy!" is a phrase that often rings out in The Case Place.  It is at that moment that I must duck and cover.  My cell phone and wallet are frantically placed in a nearby safe location and I prepare for the attack.  In an instant between 3 and 6 kids are upon me with a singular goal: to pin "daddy" on his back.  That is the only way they "win" this game.  The truth is that they always eventually win, but often it will take a long time and requires a true team effort.
I am not easily pinned!

I do not remember when these battles started, but I am sure they began as "Let's push daddy out of bed" wars and evolved into more "wrestling" matches.

Over the years, as the kids have enlisted more recruits (a.k.a. more siblings), the challenge of not getting pinned has become quite a difficult task.  Time has aided this rowdy bunch of Case Kids, with the oldest boys getting stronger each year, and the little girls learning where daddy is ticklish.  The last time we wrestled, it took all my strength and cunning to avoid being pinned.  Even then, I was so exhausted that I gave in within only about 20 minutes (fastest time ever for these kiddos).

I realize now that I am soon going to begin losing these battles without much effort or teamwork on the part of my opponents.  The only question that remains is this: how soon will it happen?  I can't wait to find out.  :)

Song Of The Day:
I don't really know why but the song "Seize The Day" from the musical Newsies comes to mind when I think about wrestling with my kids.  I think it is because that is the story of children working together to outsmart adults ... that and, I really dig the tune!

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Shouldn't I Be Having More Cravings?

I've got a good buddy who recently posted on Facebook about how he has eliminated soda from his daily intake ... for the past six months!  He wasn't posting this to gain some great accolades from FB friends or to brag about how awesome he is or to deride anyone who indulges in the sugary sweetness of soda (his favorite for as long as I've known him was Diet Mountain Dew ... and mine has long been regular Mountain Dew).  He was just posting because he wanted to share his own personal accomplishment.  Way to go Kevin!

Anyway, I mention this because I have been severely limiting my own soda intake since the start of the year (mostly coinciding with my P90X workouts).  I would be lying if I said I hadn't had any soda, but the truth of the matter is that it has probably been less than 24 ounces of soda (2 cans).  It easily could have been ZERO soda, but I added a little to some lemonade and powerade at some recent trips to McDonalds (their fries are an addiction I will never give up!) ... and I've taken a sip from one of my kid's sodas (or Karen's if she has any) once or twice.

The point of this blog is that I haven't really had any cravings for soda, which is very odd!  Sure, the first week or two were filled with longing for "The Dew" or a Cherry Pepsi / Dr Pepper.  But it was very telling to me a few Sundays ago when I decided to "treat myself" to a can of Mountain Dew.  Two sips in and I couldn't drink any more.  It was just too sweet and sugary tasting!

Perhaps the desire will come back at some point in the future, but for now I am a water fanatic (which I always was at work, but never much at home).  Energy levels are up.  My teeth feel cleaner.  I've noticed changes around the old mid-section (some of that could be the Ab Ripper X workouts though).  I actually crave water now instead of candy sometimes too.

Song Of The Day:
Stick with me here.  The song today is "Water Runs Dry" by Boyz II Men.  In this case, the soda cravings have run dry but there's not really a song about that.  I've always been a Boyz fan from the time I bought their first cassette tape.  One of my other favorite songs of theirs is linked HERE if you want a two-song kind of day.  Awesome melodies, harmonies, and acappella (of course!)