I recently noticed that I had been unfriended on Facebook by someone I thought I was reasonably close with. I'm guessing this has happened to at least some of you out there and I wondered if my reaction was way off base.
Initially I was offended. Not because the person unfriended me, but more because of the way they handled it.
Let me set the scene a little bit:
I originally became friends with this person on Facebook because we began working together more frequently. We often talked about things outside of work, so I felt a friend request would be appropriate. Apparently this individual felt so too because they accepted the invite literally minutes after I sent it.
Then, a few months ago I was just casually speaking with this person and they brought up that they were having to "take a break from Facebook" and "shut their account down." I understood and actually commended the individual for stepping away if they felt like they needed to.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I noticed they had commented on a mutual friend's post. It was at this time that I realized this person was no longer listed on my friends page.
Come again now. What happened to this "break from Facebook"? And how did this break lead to my removal in their friends list while everyone else appears to still be connected with them?
Obviously it is their decision and I have unfriended people myself. But I think what rubbed me the wrong way was their deception around it. I didn't ask them about it, nor do I plan to (what would be the benefit of doing so?) They brought the topic up themselves and offered up the information about shutting down their account. And it is that fake discussion around it that leaves me with a lesser opinion of them. Sadly, it has changed my relationship with this individual and I no longer have the trust in them I thought we had developed over the years.
Song Of The Day:
I love the tune "Why" by Annie Lennox and it fits well with this post. There are bittersweet harmonies in the song and just general confusion and angst in the lyrics. But overall I still view it as a happy tune ... and I'm not unhappy about the "loss" of this "friend" on Facebook. I just hope they can be a little more honest with themselves and others in the future. Because, if not, they will almost certainly find themselves with regrets later in life. And that's no way to live.
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Showing posts with label why. Show all posts
Showing posts with label why. Show all posts
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Friday, May 17, 2013
Did He Really Say That ?!
I have been thinking on this particular blog post for a few days now, since shortly after the whole hoopla around Abercrombie and Fitch's CEO Mike Jeffries began. And I have a problem. I have a concern. I am bothered. I am upset. I am disappointed. And I feel the need to share those concerns in my blog post.
If you care about my opinion, please read on and see things from a different perspective. If not, that is your choice and I do not judge you for it. Life is busy. We all have to prioritize where we spend our time. Honestly, my opinion shouldn't be very high on anyone's list. Not even mine. But I write my blog because it is a good release for me to share my thoughts. I never expect anyone in particular to read them or even get much out of them. But if you do, I thank you for your time.
The original article (linked HERE if you actually care to read it) was written back in 2006. I doubt you can remember the 'world' at that time, let alone the state of the economy. Spend a few minutes thinking about what you were doing around that time and then I encourage you to read the WHOLE article. Be forewarned though, that you might have a change of opinion ... that is, if you can be open-minded enough after the deluge of media lambasting the CEO and company.
For those that won't take time to read the whole article, I've made it a little easier by sharing the portion where I presume the major brouhaha came from:
As far as Jeffries is concerned, America’s unattractive, overweight or otherwise undesirable teens can shop elsewhere. “In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” he says. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either.”
What is interesting to me is how these comments have been taken out of context of the whole article. The primary discussion of the article was to learn more about how this company became successful amidst many other companies losing market share and/or changing their business models to meet the changing demands of consumers. I am certain there are many things we each say in our everyday lives that could be twisted in all sorts of ways. I just wish the average person was willing to dig a little deeper and understand more fully where someone is coming from when they speak.
I find it not at all amusing, but sad, that the people who expect to be "understood" are so quick to judge another person without understanding where THEY are coming from. Do you not see your own hypocrisy with this attitude? This is, in fact, the biggest challenge to creating a more diverse and inclusive world. We are slowly being led down a path where anything and anyone is acceptable as they are rather than maintaining certain standards. It's a little too close to the scary world depicted in the movie Wall-E for my tastes.
So boycott (or girlcott?) the company and CEO. As a consumer, that is completely your right. But be careful when you justify your decision based on 'sound bites' that are directly intended to elicit an emotional response.
You may think you are deciding for yourself, but if your decision is based on ANY information you heard, then you ARE being influenced by others.
Song Of The Day:
I am using the great Michael Jackson classic "Human Nature" today for two reasons. First, it is human nature to judge others. Judging isn't always bad, but it often comes with many unintended consequences. Second, in the song there is a repeated refrain of "Why? Why?" and this is my favorite kind of question. If we asked "Why?" more often, we'd all be better able to understand one another and be understood. And that's my interpretation of the Golden Rule.
If you've read this far, please feel free to comment below or on my Facebook post. I welcome your opinions and will read every one in their entirety. I would apologize if my comments offend you, but then, if you truly know me you would already know that is not their intent.
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But I am not angry with this CEO, nor am I offended by his comments.
Instead, I am frustrated with how our society lives by 'sound bites.'
If you care about my opinion, please read on and see things from a different perspective. If not, that is your choice and I do not judge you for it. Life is busy. We all have to prioritize where we spend our time. Honestly, my opinion shouldn't be very high on anyone's list. Not even mine. But I write my blog because it is a good release for me to share my thoughts. I never expect anyone in particular to read them or even get much out of them. But if you do, I thank you for your time.
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The original article (linked HERE if you actually care to read it) was written back in 2006. I doubt you can remember the 'world' at that time, let alone the state of the economy. Spend a few minutes thinking about what you were doing around that time and then I encourage you to read the WHOLE article. Be forewarned though, that you might have a change of opinion ... that is, if you can be open-minded enough after the deluge of media lambasting the CEO and company.
For those that won't take time to read the whole article, I've made it a little easier by sharing the portion where I presume the major brouhaha came from:
As far as Jeffries is concerned, America’s unattractive, overweight or otherwise undesirable teens can shop elsewhere. “In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” he says. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either.”
What is interesting to me is how these comments have been taken out of context of the whole article. The primary discussion of the article was to learn more about how this company became successful amidst many other companies losing market share and/or changing their business models to meet the changing demands of consumers. I am certain there are many things we each say in our everyday lives that could be twisted in all sorts of ways. I just wish the average person was willing to dig a little deeper and understand more fully where someone is coming from when they speak.
I find it not at all amusing, but sad, that the people who expect to be "understood" are so quick to judge another person without understanding where THEY are coming from. Do you not see your own hypocrisy with this attitude? This is, in fact, the biggest challenge to creating a more diverse and inclusive world. We are slowly being led down a path where anything and anyone is acceptable as they are rather than maintaining certain standards. It's a little too close to the scary world depicted in the movie Wall-E for my tastes.
So boycott (or girlcott?) the company and CEO. As a consumer, that is completely your right. But be careful when you justify your decision based on 'sound bites' that are directly intended to elicit an emotional response.
You may think you are deciding for yourself, but if your decision is based on ANY information you heard, then you ARE being influenced by others.
Choose wisely my friends.
Song Of The Day:
I am using the great Michael Jackson classic "Human Nature" today for two reasons. First, it is human nature to judge others. Judging isn't always bad, but it often comes with many unintended consequences. Second, in the song there is a repeated refrain of "Why? Why?" and this is my favorite kind of question. If we asked "Why?" more often, we'd all be better able to understand one another and be understood. And that's my interpretation of the Golden Rule.
If you've read this far, please feel free to comment below or on my Facebook post. I welcome your opinions and will read every one in their entirety. I would apologize if my comments offend you, but then, if you truly know me you would already know that is not their intent.
...
Friday, April 26, 2013
Why Do People Tailgate ?
Let me clarify right up front that I am not talking about tailgating as it relates to "hanging out in the parking lot at a sporting event, while cooking, chatting, and in general getting pumped up for the game" ... that kind of tailgating is very cool and I totally understand why people do that.
I mean tailgating in the "driving so close to my back bumper that you can see what radio station I am listening to" sense.
Seriously, why do people think this is a good idea? What are they hoping to accomplish with this behavior? Are you hoping there is an invisible air cushion that is going to force me to move forward faster than I'm already travelling?
Two things to keep in mind here: First, I generally do not drive the speed limit. I look at it more as a guideline ... but I'm usually around 4-7 MPH over whatever the speed limit is on the road I'm travelling down. Second, I am very conscious of traffic around me and will generally move to the right lane and allow people who are travelling faster to pass me.
That said, I will change both of those driving behaviors if I get one of you aggressive drivers behind me that is acting stupid with a 2-ton machine under their control. If you tailgate me, you can expect that I will match the speed of the car next to me. You can expect that I will not move over, even if there is no one in the other lane for a long time. You can expect that I will tap my brakes ... gently at first and then very assertively if you don't take the hint. You can also expect that I will smile and wave as though I have no idea why you're mad when you speed up and pass me on the right.
Song Of The Day:
Maybe I'm misunderstanding these tailgaters. Maybe they just need more connection with people around them and long for that closeness. (Insert sarcastic face here). With that in mind, here is Jewel's "Near You Always" ... which is perfect here because Jewel sounds like she loves this guy but her words are actually asking him not to be in love with her (to begin with anyway).
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I mean tailgating in the "driving so close to my back bumper that you can see what radio station I am listening to" sense.
Seriously, why do people think this is a good idea? What are they hoping to accomplish with this behavior? Are you hoping there is an invisible air cushion that is going to force me to move forward faster than I'm already travelling?
That said, I will change both of those driving behaviors if I get one of you aggressive drivers behind me that is acting stupid with a 2-ton machine under their control. If you tailgate me, you can expect that I will match the speed of the car next to me. You can expect that I will not move over, even if there is no one in the other lane for a long time. You can expect that I will tap my brakes ... gently at first and then very assertively if you don't take the hint. You can also expect that I will smile and wave as though I have no idea why you're mad when you speed up and pass me on the right.
Song Of The Day:
Maybe I'm misunderstanding these tailgaters. Maybe they just need more connection with people around them and long for that closeness. (Insert sarcastic face here). With that in mind, here is Jewel's "Near You Always" ... which is perfect here because Jewel sounds like she loves this guy but her words are actually asking him not to be in love with her (to begin with anyway).
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