What Really Matters ?

Sometimes in life, situations can lead us to think disparaging thoughts.  We can then dwell on those thoughts until we find ourselves visibly angry.  The simple power of an idea or concern repeated in our self-talk can raise our blood pressure, increase our heart rate, and even clench our teeth or fists in a building rage or disappointment.  If left unchecked, this can eliminate positive thoughts entirely and destroy relationships or personal progress.

Yesterday I was in that very place, thinking those very negative thoughts, and finding myself righteously indignant toward a certain person whose words and actions justified (note the sarcasm intended here) my angry mood.  I couldn't focus on my work.  I couldn't generate any motivation to clear items on ANY of my To Do Lists.  All I could focus on was the growing anger and resentment toward this person and their actions.

I tried to vent my frustrations to my loving wife, who has I assume willingly listened to more than her fair share of these mini-tirades in our many years together.  But it didnt help.  In fact, it seemed to make things worse.  The more I spoke, the more angry and hurt I became.  I began to question the value of anything I was investing my time in.  Why does any extra effort matter when something so tiny can negate all of that positive performance?  It was rough, and my wife doesn't deserve to hear such harsh language, so I walked away.  But being alone didn't help either.

A small amount of time passed.  The kids were sent to bed, but my youngest son, Spencer, just over a year old, seemed unwilling to go to sleep in my wife's arms.  This is unusual because he always wants her to put him to sleep.  Realizing that she might need a break, I softly took him from her arms and went to his room to sing him to sleep.  He immediately stopped fussing and began his put-me-to-sleep humming sound.  After a few Harry Connick Jr songs (he seems pretty partial to "I've Got A Great Idea" from the We Are In Love CD), it hit me ... THIS is what really matters.

After laying him down, I went back in the family room to chat with my wife.  She mentioned that Spencer must have just needed some 'daddy time' but I don't think that's true.  I think daddy needed some Spencer time to remind him what really matters.


Song Of The Day:
I knew that I would be writing this blog today, but wasn't sure what would be a good song to accompany the post.  Then this morning, a work friend's Facebook post reminded me of a song I love that I haven't heard in years.  "Seven"  by Prince* is not a song about kids, but it is a song about love and it also makes me think of my seven children and how they (plus my wife of course) are what really matters in my life.
*Sadly I could not find a link for the original song by Prince, so this one is performed a capella by the Brown Jabberwocks.  It's pretty good, but I LOOOOOVE the original Prince version.

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Why Is Leaving Always So Hard ?

It is never easy to say goodbye when you love someone, even when you know the day is coming and you know you'll see them again (perhaps very soon).  There is just something troubling when you and they must separate for a time.  It never feels good.

For some people, this is evident even before the departure.  It manifests itself in anger, tears, or what I like to call 'trial separation' where you just subconsciously distance yourself from the other person for short periods of time.

Just some random photos of the kids from Fort Morgan

For others, it comes as a wave of emotion right as the separation begins to happen, like uncontrolled tears as you drive away or a pain deep in your gut when you realize someone is 'gone.'

And then there are people like me.  I do not experience either of the first two styles of dealing with separation, but it still affects me greatly in time.  Usually it comes just a little bit at a time as I begin to see things that remind me of the missing loved one.  A certain song on the radio makes me miss a friend.  Driving by someone's old house makes me long for them to be close once again.  I'll think of something funny to say and realize the person who would appreciate my humor the most isn't 'right there' any more to hear me say it.

No matter how you deal with saying goodbye, may I recommend that you remember to tell those you love that you love them.  Make it clear.  Make it known.  Leave no doubt about your concern for them.  And then look ahead to brighter days where you will be reunited once again.  I know I am looking forward to many happy reunions (in this life and in the eternities).

Song Of The Day:
It was many months ago when I heard the song "Daylight" by Maroon 5 on one of my many iPad radio apps.  I knew immediately that I would one day use it in a blog post, and this is the perfect post to use it in.  Although we left our dear friends the Amsdens in the afternevening today, I still knew the night before that in the next day we would "have to go" ... and I think we all tried to "hold each other so close" knowing our time together was drawing short.  Soon.  Together again soon.

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Looking For Some Good Leadership Advice ?

Although I don't read books as often as I used to (who has the time?!) my passion for reading as a means to absorb new material has never dissipated.

Through the years my tastes in reading material have evolved, often impacted by my current life situation.  Sometimes that has been family or relationship related, or driven by new priorities at work, church, or in my schooling.  The power of words lies not just in what is written, but in the way I can apply those thoughts to my own real and often very personal experiences.

One of my favorite blogs to read (as often as I can make time for it) is Leadership Freak by Dan Rockwell.  You might think the brevity of his posts would be my favorite thing about his blog, but you would only be partially correct.  My absolute favorite thing is that his words ALWAYS spur me on to higher thoughts about how I can be leading and serving others better.  And the application is NEVER limited to just work-related scenarios.  I have found his short essays to be helpful in almost every aspect of my life.  Very effective and efficient!

So check him out at the link above if you're looking for a daily dose of leadership advice.  I subscribed via email and even if it takes me a week or so to get around to reading his posts, they are always worth my while.

Song Of The Day:
This song might be a bit of a stretch for the title subject, but I believe it's applicable so open your mind here.  The song is "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood.  Here's how it applies (in my mind anyway): I believe leaders do what they do (lead) out of love for others.  They desire to help people, which leads them to a life of leadership.  So in that vein, bring me a higher love could be interpreted as a request for more love towards those we serve, which in turn will make us better leaders.
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Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?!

So it's that time of year again ... no, not football season ... FANTASY football season.

Every year I swear I am done wasting my time with this silly game ... and every year (at least for the past 4 years) I find myself invited or playing in at least 3 different leagues.  I even ran one for the past two years because my wife really got into it a few years back and wanted to play.

So tonight while watching some more of The Office (end of season 4 if you are following along at home) I received a text message from a good friend of mine from work (Marcos).  He was texting to see if I was interested in playing FF in his league (they needed one more person and I figure what the heck, why not!)

But I am NOT setting up a Yahoo league this year for my ... what's that? ... yes dear ... no sweetie ... yes we ... okay but we have to ... the first week of the season ... I know ... okay ... maybe tomorrow or Sunday ... I don't know ... my family might not want to ... well you can ask Bob ... and Dennis ... but I don't want to ... what's that? ... okay ... I promise. ... O-kay!  I promise!  Love you too ...

Dangit!