What Has Your Mom Taught You ?

It's time y'all got to meet the greatest mother of all time:  Julie Case

I certainly hope that many children (of any age) feel that their mother is the best in the world ... but I know four people who actually get to claim that as the truth!

Mom, I love you.  More than you realize, your actions have shaped me into the person I am today.  Your example has set the stage for so many different experiences I have been faced with in this life, giving me thoughts and ideas on what to do (or what not to do) as these new challenges arise.

Herewith are a small collection of the countless things you have taught me through the years (I hope some make you chuckle):
 - Let it go.  Sometimes it just doesn't matter.  Sometimes life is bigger than that moment or situation.  Sometimes good things happen to bad people and you have to let them enjoy their unearned glory.  But clinging to that disappointment or hatred and/or continuing an argument that is fruitless only hurts yourself.
 - You can be thrifty, but don't be cheap.  It is a noble ideal to save money or spend money wisely, but sometimes it's better to be a little frivilous.  Vacations with the family are an excellent example.  Gifts for other people are another.  If you save the money from worthless pleasures (eating out all the time) you can blow the savings on lasting treasures (special experiences with family and friends).
 - Argue in private, quietly.  Praise in public, loudly.  This is especially true in your relationship with your eternal companion.  You can be someone's biggest critic and greatest support, but the world should only see the supportive side.  This, above all else, will strengthen your relationships and keep everyone whole.
 - If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing right.  Otherwise, you'll do it over and over and over again until you do do it right.  Laundry piles up, and so do household chores.  You can do all the chores and laundry in one day or spread them out through the week.  And either way is fine.  But do it right!
 - There's chili in the fridge.  No matter where you're coming from or where you're going, no matter the time of day or the season of the year ... there should always be 'chili' in the fridge.  Be a good host or hostess and offer things to your guests even if they turn you down time and again.
 - Music changes the world.  Singing is always free.  Playing an instrument well provides joy to you and others.  Sharing talents (even if limited) makes everyone feel better about themselves.  Listening to music can transport you to anywhere or into any mood you want to be in.  Appreciate different styles, even if people think you're weird.  And sing along in the car at the top of your lungs!
 - Just pick up the phone and call.  Communication may change with technological advances, but an actual live conversation (face to face if you can do it) is the best way to connect, support, show love, empathize, understand, or just get things done.  It means a lot when you take the time to call.
 - Laughing is good.  Being able to laugh at yourself is even better.  Oh look, Josh is home.  Orphan orphan or often as in frequently?  Green food coloring in every piece of our St Patrick's Day dinner.  Life is funny and those who smile more often are finding humor all around them ... and in their own actions.
 - Stand up for yourself, or if you cannot, always have a group of friends who will stand up with you.  Sometimes it is difficult to be the only one ... so surround yourself with the right kinds of people and you'll never have to stand alone for what is right.

Obviously this list could go on for years.  Mom, you've taught me so many wonderful things and despite your own unwillingness to accept it, YOU raised some great kids.  Thank you eternally for loving me enough to let me live through those crazy ADD years.  Thank you for packing my lunches, for baking so many cakes, for throwing special birthday parties, for writing my name in every piece of missionary clothing I had, for yelling at me when I needed it, for consoling me when I needed that, for being quick to forgive me when I thought I knew better, for being quick to thank me when it turns out I actually did have something to teach you.  Thanks for being a great grandma to my 7 kiddos.  Thanks for trying to be the best mother-in-law to my wife.  I love you!

Song(s) Of The Day:
The tune is very catchy.  The singers are super talented.  The message in the words ring true more and more each day.  "A Song For Mama" by Boyz II Men is as close to a tribute to my mother as I can think of ... although I am still prepared to sing "Consider The Lilies" in the long distant future funeral because I know this is what she wants.  Love you mom!

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Remember Pen Pals ?

I remember having a 'Pen Pal' back in the 3rd or 4th grade.  I do not remember much about the experience, but a few things stand out.
 - It was cool to get a letter from your pen pal
 - It was enjoyable to learn how you were similar to your pen pal
 - It was interesting to learn about someone else's life
 - Most of the time, it was fun to write these letters ... even if you hated writing



I am sure Jeremy will never
forgive me for using this picture
from our Disneyland trip in 2008.

Without any intention to do so, I have become "Pen Pals" with a good friend of mine, whom I have not seen but once in the last 10 years or so.
I got to know him through church because our wives were friends and we sorta started hanging out as small families (we each had just 1-2 kids at that time).  His job took him to AZ and then recently to TX, but we have kept in contact through email all this time.

We sometimes go several months without having time to write one another back.  We haven't "hung out" in a long time.  Our families have grown quite a bit (7 and 4 kids, respectively) and perhaps our stomachs too.  :(  But we are still connected and each email is just like a compilation of conversations we would have had if we still saw each other more often.

Through it all, the same things I remember about my grade school pen pal experience are still true now.  It's great to hear from him, no matter how long it's been.  We still share so many similarities and it is fun to hear how things are going for him and his family.  And I always love writing him back, especially because he doesn't care about punctuation or rambling sentences and thoughts or even when I randomly jump from one subject to the next.  Thanks for being my pen pal Jeremy!

Song Of The Day:
One of my recent favorite songs is "Heaven's Highest Hill" by Blue Jupiter.  The song is actually about a husband/father who is grieving the loss of his wife.  But the bigger message of 'love don't stop' is why I'm using it in this post.  I look forward (in no hurry though) to the day when I'll be surrounded by loved ones in heaven, enjoying each other's company and what I'm sure will be some amazing views!

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Is That In The Job Description ?

A friend of my niece, Brittany, was involved in a car accident this morning (on the way to driving my niece and herself to a final AP exam for their high school english class).  The friend is okay.  The other driver was at fault.  The car(s) involved will need some repairs, but all in all things will be just fine.

I had gone to pick up my niece and take her to the AP exam, but she was able to reschedule a make-up test.  So instead I just sat there and waited to give her and her friend a ride to our place to wait until they could return to their homes.

Anyway ... as all the paperwork was being filled out, my niece and I sat there wondering who was responsible for cleaning up the debris in the road?  Broken headlights and plastic bumper pieces were scattered through the intersection where the accident occurred.  And it occurred to us that we had no idea how that debris always seemed to be taken care of.

And then we saw this ...

I guess that answers that question.  Who knew that the Police Officer on scene would have a broom in his car?  Who knew that he would be specially trained to clear the street of remnant car parts?  And then I started wondering, is that in the job description for them?

"To serve and protect ... and clean up city streets after accidents."

Regardless, I think this Officer did a fine job, even if it might be one of his least favorite responsibilities.

Song Of The Day:
Whether you love the song or hated it because it got played so much on the radio, "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol is certainly memorable.  I also think it's applicable to this post, even if the police don't just chase cars all the time.

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What Message Are We Sending ?

Once per month we have a "combined" activity with the youth of the church on our regular youth night.  One group of the youth is responsible to plan the activity for that evening and then everyone else just shows up prepared to enjoy whatever is planned.

This month, that responsibility fell upon our group (the 12 and 13 year old young men), so we have spent a few weeks over this past month planning for that night.  All told, it probably encompassed about 3-4 hours of planning and several individual assignments that each required another hour or two of work outside our normal meeting times.

All was going smoothly until this past Sunday, when we were nonchalantly informed that the young women would not be joining us for the activity.
Wait, what?!
When did this happen?  Just now.
And why are we just finding this out three days beforehand?  Sorry.
Can we just change the date for the "combined" activity?  No.

The questions didn't end there ... but the answers did.

This bothers me mostly because of the terrible message it is sending to our youth.  What message can we possibly expect them to learn from this experience?  The boys that invested time to plan now have to scramble to adjust plans, while scrapping all their hard work ... for nothing.  The youth that "missed" the combined activity get a message that it's not really important to be in attendance unless you're the ones who are in charge or invested time to plan the activity or event.

This is why the next generation is in trouble ... they have weak teachers.  :(

Song Of The Day:
I feel the song "Kings and Queens" by Audio Adrenaline is an appropriate tune for this day.  As current adults we need to respect our responsibility to teach the rising generation in the right way, even if it makes things tough or inconvenient for us.  Otherwise, we will reap the weak things we have sown and then we will become 'the least of these' but with no hope for improvement.

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What Are The Odds ?

Some people are just board game playing kinds of people.  That very much describes my wife and I (and most of our truly good friends).  Of the millions of ways you can spend time as a couple or in small groups, playing a board game is one of the best.

A few months ago we came into possession of a Clue: Master Detective board game, which we found out later is out of print.  This makes it a rarity in and of itself, but what makes it more special is that my wife loves this game!  I did not know this, so when I picked it up from my parents (who were just clearing some things they haven't used in years) I had no idea that it would make my wife so happy to have.

So after sitting on our game shelf for a while, we finally pulled the game down to play it (when our friends - Aaron and Britney - stayed with us for a few nights).  We must have played about 10-12 rounds of the game over two evenings and here is the really weird thing ... in EVERY single game we played, the eventual "murderer" was either Aaron's character piece or mine.

For a little context, in Master Detective there are 10 different possible murder suspects.  So there was only a 40% chance in any ONE game that the murderer would be one of our 4 characters ... but it was Aaron or I every single time!

What is even weirder is that we played the game another 3-4 times with some other combinations of people (Jeremy, Jordan and Erin, just Aaron and Karen and I) ... and only ONCE was the murderer NOT one of our characters' playing pieces.  That makes about 14 of 15 times which is statistically almost impossible (50%, 40%, or 30% chance in just one game ... but over all these games it is just unexplainable).

Song Of The Day:
I'm as big a Phil Collins fan as Karen is a Clue Master Detective fan.  His song "Against All Odds" is a great tune and perfectly fits with this blog post subject.  Some of the lines in the song are eerily fitting "you're the only one who really knew me at all" and "there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face" are two quick examples.

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Did You Check My IM Status ?

For those who may not be familiar with the terminology, when I say "IM" in this blog post title, I am referring to "Instant Messenger" technology.  At work this is provided through Microsoft Lync and is connected to our Outlook mail system.

Now with that background, allow me to explain my use of this title question countless times throughout the day.

About half of my team works from home pretty much 100% of their time.  These individuals are not seen in the office except for a few times each year, as needed for training or other on-site only events.  Out of consideration for these individuals, I have adopted the habit of providing updates on my status in the office through my IM or Lync system.

What started as a method to keep them informed, has turned into an effective system whereby I can keep anyone informed of my "availability" to meet with them.  For most people this has proven to be a very useful tool.  Colleagues, my boss, and others in general can just scroll over my name in Lync and see if my status is "Busy" or if I am "Away" or actually (rarely) "Available" at that moment.  I also include a short description of the situation, so people can gauge how long I might be "Busy" for.

That said ... there is a contingency of people who always seem surprised when I do not immediately reply to their IM chats or perhaps do not pick up the phone when they call.  And when we finally do chat, I always start with the blog post title question.

Now I do NOT expect people to check my status every moment of the day, but I DO think you should check it before you get bothered or frustrated with ME for not replying to you quickly enough.

Am I being unreasonable here?

Song Of the Day:
'Oh you never know what you'll find when you open up your "Letterbox" tomorrow.'  This is the opening line in this song by They Might Be Giants and it makes me think about how you have to actually use the letterbox and actually READ the letters you receive, or you'll never get the messages being sent to you.  Just like people need to check my status before just expecting me to be available at that moment.

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Why DO You Dress Like That ?

I love the change of seasons, especially coming out of the Winter time and into Spring and Summer.  The trees start to flower.  The grass starts to grow again.  Different frangrances and aromas fill the air.  The temperature gets warmer.  The days get longer.  People are outside more often, if only to work in their yards.

And clothing styles (and amounts) change.

Winter brings with it more and more layers of clothing, to keep the body warm and safe.  Spring retains full body clothing coverage, because the temperatures still swing wildly and at a moment's notice.  But the closer summer gets, the less material that is worn and the more skin sees the sunlight.

EVERY year this causes the same question to cross my mind.  This may be sexist, but the post title question is directed specifically at women who choose to wear very revealing attire, often using the warm weather to justify their clothing selection.  Often, if the clothing is not immodest in terms of lack of material, it is revealing in terms of the tightness of it's fit and/or shape-hugging style.

Now as a man, I cannot honestly say that I have never taken notice of these women.  But my issue is that you're deliberately wearing that outfit to attract attention and focus it very specifically on certain assets that you possess.  It is a disappointment to see that, but is illogical and arguably ridiculous when these same women complain that men treat them as a sex object or look at them with wanton eyes.

What do you expect when you try to put everything out there for show?  Are you honestly going to try and tell me that you chose that outfit because it's "comfortable" to wear?!  You spent 20 minutes wriggling into those pants because they feel good ?!  You constantly pull and push and readjust your top, yet expect me to believe that you picked the right size and style?!

Let's be honest with ourselves here.  You like the way the clothes you wear make you look.  You like the way they make you feel.  AND most of all you like the fact that your attire catches and holds the eyes of men around you.

My final thought is this ... you may feel an initial boost in self-confidence as you wear these clothes.  You may even use these clothes as motivation to improve your overall physique and health.  But I promise you that you WILL lessen the value of yourself as a whole person if you place so much emphasis on wearing immodest clothing.  You will NOT be treated as anything more than a sex object if you do not avoid dressing like one.

Song Of the Day:
Many songs crossed my mind while writing this post, but I've landed on "Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol for one simple reason: in the song, the lyrics include the refrain "in the midnight hour, she cries 'More, more, more'" and that is my biggest issue with revealing clothing.  It starts small and simple but eventually the desire increases and you'll try to push the limits even further.  You'll always seek to gain more attention and eventually you'll run out of skin to show.  You may begin to cover up again and dress more modestly after that happens but your dignity will be damaged forever.

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