Did You Miss Me ?

Sometimes I wonder if we're kidding ourselves when we say we missed someone or something.

"I've missed you."

We say this phrase as a means of expressing what we believe to be sincere missing, but were there ever actual moments of missing that person or thing?  I believe that would have created periods of longing or desire, when one would truly miss something to the point it consumes their whole being.

I can't truthfully say I have felt those feelings more than a handful of times in my life.  And almost always it has been when I am separated from my family.

Sure it sounds nice when expressed to someone you haven't seen in a while, but I doubt the feelings were that deep.  But then again, maybe it's just me.  Perhaps others truly do have those 'I miss you' feelings about lots of people or even things (food, their comfortable bed, summertime, etc.)

"We'll miss you."

This phrase is most often uttered as a preamble to the perceived feelings of missing someone or something.  It also sounds sincere and nice, but you could be lying when you say it.  I certainly thought I would miss having cable television (especially ESPN), but after a very short while, I didn't miss it at all.  I thought I would miss people who have moved away, whether from school, church, work, or even close friends and immediate family.  But even for those I do miss, the feelings are much more infrequent than I believed they would be.
(I am sure my mom will read this and think I mean her, but she ought to know by now that's impossible.  I miss her, and my father, just as frequently as I expected ... very often!)

I'm not suggesting we should stop using these phrases, but it may be setting unrealistic expectations when considering the implications of the lengths we will go to in order to reconnect with these people we miss.  I think I would rather have someone know that I enjoyed our times together and will always remember them fondly, but that I won't likely miss them terribly, as opposed to holding any belief that I'll be counting down the days and making explicit plans to see them again very soon.

There should be no need to overemphasize how we feel about each other like this, whether while we depart or upon seeing one another after a long absence.  Perhaps just clarifying the statement would suffice, as in 'Now that I see you again I remember so many good times we once had together, and that makes me long for more of those times at this moment.'

Ehhhh ... that would take too long.  Never mind.  Good to see you again - I've missed you.


Song Of The Day:
I think we miss music sometimes, but it isn't until we hear a song again from years ago that we remember when we used to love that song.  I don't know if I've ever missed hearing a song, as if it's very absence had a profound effect on my life's experiences at that moment.  But "I Miss You" by Blink 182 is a great song that I hadn't heard in a while and it came to mind as I was writing this post.  And doggone it if I didn't start missing that song as I composed the post above.  Now that I've heard it, I doubt I'll miss it again for a long time.  I hope the song is okay with that.

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Why Don't You Come Watch Me Play More Often ?

Tonight was the final game in our church basketball league.  It just so happened to be the equivalent of a Championship Game (we abolished an actual playoff years ago when things got too competitive).  Our opponents had gone undefeated for their season, and were clearly the better team all year.  With youth, precision passing, unselfish play, and swarming defense on their side it was even fun losing to them.  And they were our only loss this season, so we were relatively clearly the next best team.

Tonight was unique for two reasons:
First, our team only had 5 (five) guys show up to play: Trent VanDenberge, Kyle Ambrose, Dustin Larsen, Mark Puhlman, and myself.  I was our center, standing at roughly six feet nothing (I am aging so it's probably closer to 5'11" nowadays.  (The other team had 10 guys so they were subbing constantly and running us ragged).
Second, my parents were in town from Arizona and despite the 10:00pm start time, they came out to cheer on their son.

I'll skip to the end of the game because it's late and I'm exhausted, but suffice it to say that we only lost by 2 points: 79 to 77.  I was so proud of my teammates who hit clutch shot after clutch shot and never gave up hope that we could win.

My dad, ever being the statistician, kept my "line" for the night and I am very grateful because it was arguably my best game ever.  37 points, 12 rebounds, 5 assists, 3 steals, 2 blocks, and only 2 turnovers.  My favorite shot was a running three pointer from just beyond half court that beat the buzzer in the first half, tying the game at 38 apiece.

So in honor of my awesome parents, whose presence always seems to coincide with my best games, I pose today's blog post title question.  :)
Love you mom and dad!


Song Of The Day:
I've recently become quite a fan of Imagine Dragons (thanks Jordan for suggesting them!) and their newest song "On Top Of The World" is fantastic!  It describes how I am feeling this evening and is a great tune to end the day on.  Thanks again to all of my teammates (and competitors) tonight!  That was the most fun I've had in a long time playing basketball!  Y'all are fantastic friends and everything that is right with semi-competitive sports!

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What Has Your Mom Taught You ?

It's time y'all got to meet the greatest mother of all time:  Julie Case

I certainly hope that many children (of any age) feel that their mother is the best in the world ... but I know four people who actually get to claim that as the truth!

Mom, I love you.  More than you realize, your actions have shaped me into the person I am today.  Your example has set the stage for so many different experiences I have been faced with in this life, giving me thoughts and ideas on what to do (or what not to do) as these new challenges arise.

Herewith are a small collection of the countless things you have taught me through the years (I hope some make you chuckle):
 - Let it go.  Sometimes it just doesn't matter.  Sometimes life is bigger than that moment or situation.  Sometimes good things happen to bad people and you have to let them enjoy their unearned glory.  But clinging to that disappointment or hatred and/or continuing an argument that is fruitless only hurts yourself.
 - You can be thrifty, but don't be cheap.  It is a noble ideal to save money or spend money wisely, but sometimes it's better to be a little frivilous.  Vacations with the family are an excellent example.  Gifts for other people are another.  If you save the money from worthless pleasures (eating out all the time) you can blow the savings on lasting treasures (special experiences with family and friends).
 - Argue in private, quietly.  Praise in public, loudly.  This is especially true in your relationship with your eternal companion.  You can be someone's biggest critic and greatest support, but the world should only see the supportive side.  This, above all else, will strengthen your relationships and keep everyone whole.
 - If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing right.  Otherwise, you'll do it over and over and over again until you do do it right.  Laundry piles up, and so do household chores.  You can do all the chores and laundry in one day or spread them out through the week.  And either way is fine.  But do it right!
 - There's chili in the fridge.  No matter where you're coming from or where you're going, no matter the time of day or the season of the year ... there should always be 'chili' in the fridge.  Be a good host or hostess and offer things to your guests even if they turn you down time and again.
 - Music changes the world.  Singing is always free.  Playing an instrument well provides joy to you and others.  Sharing talents (even if limited) makes everyone feel better about themselves.  Listening to music can transport you to anywhere or into any mood you want to be in.  Appreciate different styles, even if people think you're weird.  And sing along in the car at the top of your lungs!
 - Just pick up the phone and call.  Communication may change with technological advances, but an actual live conversation (face to face if you can do it) is the best way to connect, support, show love, empathize, understand, or just get things done.  It means a lot when you take the time to call.
 - Laughing is good.  Being able to laugh at yourself is even better.  Oh look, Josh is home.  Orphan orphan or often as in frequently?  Green food coloring in every piece of our St Patrick's Day dinner.  Life is funny and those who smile more often are finding humor all around them ... and in their own actions.
 - Stand up for yourself, or if you cannot, always have a group of friends who will stand up with you.  Sometimes it is difficult to be the only one ... so surround yourself with the right kinds of people and you'll never have to stand alone for what is right.

Obviously this list could go on for years.  Mom, you've taught me so many wonderful things and despite your own unwillingness to accept it, YOU raised some great kids.  Thank you eternally for loving me enough to let me live through those crazy ADD years.  Thank you for packing my lunches, for baking so many cakes, for throwing special birthday parties, for writing my name in every piece of missionary clothing I had, for yelling at me when I needed it, for consoling me when I needed that, for being quick to forgive me when I thought I knew better, for being quick to thank me when it turns out I actually did have something to teach you.  Thanks for being a great grandma to my 7 kiddos.  Thanks for trying to be the best mother-in-law to my wife.  I love you!

Song(s) Of The Day:
The tune is very catchy.  The singers are super talented.  The message in the words ring true more and more each day.  "A Song For Mama" by Boyz II Men is as close to a tribute to my mother as I can think of ... although I am still prepared to sing "Consider The Lilies" in the long distant future funeral because I know this is what she wants.  Love you mom!

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Do You Play The Piano ?

One of my great disappointments (which I could rectify, but know I won't) in life is that I do not know how to play the piano.  Or any instrument for that matter.  But piano music is one of my favorite styles, whether it be complemented by human voices or an orchestra, or is the single sound piercing through the air.

I chose the 'learn to sing' path in junior high and high school.  Some would argue I didn't learn much about singing during those years.  I might agree with those folks most of the time.

My mother taught piano for years growing up, but she (probably very wisely) did not want to teach me or any of her own children how to play.  I know if I had expressed an interest she would have coordinated lessons for me and I could have invested countless hours learning to play scales and read music (which I can mostly do now anyway) and practicing, practicing, practicing.  But I did not express any interest then and as an adult I do not have the commitment to start at the beginning.

Judge away, I don't mind.  I have come to grips with my non-piano-playing life and I am mostly content with it (I can't say 'content' by itself after starting this blog post by listing the non-piano-playing situation as one of my great disappointments in life now can I?!)

Instead, I support my wife in her gentle pushing of some of our children to learn to play.  Thus far 2 of the 7 kids have taken (or are taking) lessons.  Hopefully most of the others follow suit.  My oldest has moved on to the trumpet, which I admire him greatly for learning.

Hats off to you piano players!  Your talents bless the lives of many and even if you're a bit rusty, take comfort in knowing you can bring beautiful melodies and harmonies to life on an awesome set of ivories!

Song Of The Day:
There may not be a better day of the week to listen to classical music than the Sabbath.  Not all classical music has the most positive or spiritually uplifting themes, but many pieces can inspire deep reflection and the pondering of life's great mysteries.  And some, like Mozart's "Piano Concerto No. 8" are just a delight to listen to!  This is just the first movement from that concerto, but it has recently become one of my favorites.

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