Can Negative Feedback lead to a Positive Outcome ?

Yesterday I received an e-mail at work from a friend I have not spoken to in way too long.  I was excited to receive the e-mail, but I wish it had been under better circumstances.

You see, my friend had read a blog post I had written several months ago and was sending me an e-mail outlining his reaction to it.  He correctly identified that the introduction to the post was about him ... and his feelings were hurt by what I had written.

I felt terrible.

I had no intention of hurting him, or anyone for that matter, with what I composed and posted to my blog and Facebook wall.  I had no idea how I could have been so insensitive and I spent hours reading, reviewing, thinking, and pondering on what he and I had individually written.  Although my words were true and not directed at him in any way, there is no way to say they couldn't have been meant to chastise and judge my friend.

I plan to send him an e-mail response, wherein I will apologize for the way the words I wrote allowed him to feel.  And much like that very post he questioned, this is where THIS blog post takes a turn for the positive ... despite the very negative and arguably attacking language of his e-mail (which I do not intend to judge him on at all!) I was so glad to have received his e-mail.  I was so glad for the "feedback" he gave me and how his words helped me to see that post from a totally different perspective.

And so I have been thinking about "feedback" and how it can ALWAYS lead to something positive IF the recipient is willing to humble themselves and see the message from the sender's point of view.  I know I do not always do this, but this time I was blessed with an open heart and mind ... and I was able to see and feel at least a glimpse of the pain my own words likely caused this dear friend.

As I have continued to think on what he wrote, I have decided to make some serious commitments to change a few behaviors I have that are not very positive.  They are nothing of importance to anyone else really, but are of great significance to me.  And I have this once distant friend to thank for it!  If not for his willingness to just SAY something I might never have had the opportunity to begin to learn such a valuable life lesson.  I am just hopeful he is willing to forgive me and perhaps we can renew and strengthen our friendship.

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Is that all you're doing ?

Short post this evening, but at least one really cute picture to go with it.

The blog post title is what my daughter asked me when she came home from school and saw me setting up lights outside the house.  It was a nice enough day, albeit a little lot windy, so I began putting up some of the exterior Christmas lights I have available.  And I guess she was a little disappointed when I decided to stop for the day.

In defense of her question, I do plan to do more ... but that will be time and weather permitting.  I never have control of one of those variables and lately feel much less control of the other.

So here are the pics of the exterior of The Case Place so far ... maybe there will be more pics later in the month with more decorations ...

but don't count on it!  :)

From the middle of our street

A "close up" of the nativity

And here's that "CUTE" picture I promised
at the very beginning of the post!  :)
I found it especially amusing that she is
drinking MILK while sitting ON THE COW !!!

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Whose turn is it to place the Christmas Star ?

Daddy trying to move the tree into place ...
with a little "help" from Myra and Catalina

L-R: Josh Jr, Myra, Brooklyn,
Savannah, Catalina,
Ben and Karen sitting

I love Christmastime!  My favorite thing is that (usually) there is very little fighting and lots more giving.  But one question always seems to bring out the grumpys in my kids:

Whose year is it to place the Christmas Star atop the tree?!

This year, amidst the arguing over who did it last year and why it should be "my" turn (argued by 5 of the 6 kids ... but only because Myra still has no clue what is going on yet ... she just likes the shiny lights and all the new things she can try to sneak to play with!) ... I devised a plan to keep us on track.  We'll see if it works next year, but for now it brought an end to the discussions and everyone seemed willing to accept my plan.

There are six kids in this house, each who wants to place the star, which is the last ornament to go on the tree before we conduct our annual "light it up" ceremony.
 - Josh Jr will be 18 years old in 6 more Christmases ... so my plan is to have us start over this year and just go down one child each year until that time.  This means Josh Jr placed the star this year, and will do so again after his 18th birthday.  His next turn would not come until he is 24, at which point we assume he will be living somewhere other than this house, perhaps even with a family and traditions of his own.
 - Ben will go next year and he will be 11 at that time.  His next turn will be when he is 17.  That puts his 3rd turn at 23 ... and we hold out the same hopes for him at that age (living somewhere other than this house, maybe even married).
 - Brooklyn will go the year after that, when she is 10.  So her second turn will be when she is Sweet Sixteen, making her third turn at 22.  I will be shocked if she is still unmarried and/or living in this house at 22.
 - Savannah will go the following year, and since she will be 9 she might actually be able to reach the top of the tree with just a chair and not need a ladder or a boost on daddy's shoulders.  Her next turn will be at 15 and then again at 21 ... if she's home from college for the holidays.  :)
 - Catalina and Myra are the two youngest and they will each easily get three more turns.  But by that time, they will probably have to drag mommy and daddy into the living room to decorate the tree anyway.  So the only thing they will fight about is who has to wake up daddy and tell him to not be such a Scrooge!  :)

The future looks bright!

Oh wait ... maybe those are just all the Christmas lights.

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Did Christmas explode in your house ?!

This will be Blog Post #1 related to Christmas at the Case Place.

Here's a few pictures to give you a sample of the spirit of Christmas that rules our roost from **the day after Thanksgiving until New Year's Day!

**(Black Friday is known as "decoration day" around these parts.  And what better activity

to start off the New Year than to clean up all the decorations from the holidays!)

I recommend you stop on by when you are in the area because the smells of fresh-baked cookies, or cakes, or breads and the Scentsy "Spruceberry" candle smell make it really feel like Christmas!

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Is your forehead magnetic ?!

I should do a better job at listening to my kids when they tell me things, because the alternative is that I would miss out on some really cool stuff!

This picture and related story are an example of some of that "really cool stuff."


Doesn't this look "cool" ... wait for it!  :)

My oldest son, Josh Jr, came home from school and asked if I wanted to see something "cool."  At that exact moment I was not really in the mood to see anything, cool or not.  I was a little grumpy because the house was a mess (due to my youngest daughter's desires to wreak havoc in every room she visits).  But I took a proverbial "step back" and said "Sure.  Show me something cool."

And then he did!

The picture above (and the one to the left) is what resulted from this experience.  You see, my son's science teacher had explained to him (and his class) that our brains emit a small amount of electro-magnetic pull (or something like that ... remember that I said I need to do a better job listening?!

This is what I'm talking about!)

Anyway, as a result of this, everyone has a spot (or two) on their forehead, where a coin (I recommend a quarter) will actually "connect" with these magnetic waves and will stay put ... for a LONG time!

You will just have to try this yourself to believe me.  Don't press the quarter to your head (like that "stick the card to your forehead using oily, sweaty residue" crap).  Just maneuver it around your forehead (start near the temples on the outside portion of your eyes) until you find the spot.

If you do this with someone else, there is a second cool trick you can do.  Once the spot has been found, have the other person slowly remove and then replace the coin in that same spot.  They will be able to feel the magnetic draw to your head!  You can then do this to their head so you can feel it too.

This will cause some of you to call me an outright dork ... but I don't care!  This was the coolest science thing I have ever seen!  And I proudly wore my quarter around (here and there) for days afterward.  Including one cool experience driving from our house all the way to Sam's club with some friends (several miles and the quarter never fell off).

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How was your Thanksgiving ?

Despite multiple "issues" that seem to happen every year (see: turkey still somewhat frozen), our Thanksgiving was a complete success.  Among extended family fun was had by all, and the food was delicious!  Herewith are some pictures with a little story behind each one.  I hope you enjoy (and if you attended this wonderful event, THANKS for being part of such a great day!)

Turkeys cook perfectly @ 325 degrees ... And here's the second one all cooked! 

So I had a little problem with the oil,

but nothing like you hear about related to oil fires!

I had too much oil for the birds we were cooking (both 18-20 pounders)

so I decided to take some oil out.  I emptied it into a large glass bowl ...

which turned out to be a BIG mistake.  While moving the chair, with the

bowl sitting in it, filled with 350 degree oil, the bowl shattered !!!

Fortunately, no one was injured and the bowl and oil cleaned up easily.

The BEFORE ... and ... the AFTER ... er ... "DURING"

(where the adults all sat in our living room)

The BEFORE ... and ... the AFTER ... er ... "DURING"

(where most of the kids sat in our dining room) 

Here's the first turkey all cooked ... and here's what my "carving" of it looked like.

The "darker" looking stuff on the white meat side is the best part!  So crunchy!

A smattering of side dishes ... and ... non-alcoholic "fancy" drinks.

(I did not get pictures of the delicious desserts ... sorry!) 



Aunt Mandy and baby Peter ... sooooo cute!
Gotta love those Thanksgiving afternoon naps!  :)

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How did this one stay alive so long?

I try to "surprise" my wife Karen with roses every once in a while.  Supposedly that is important in a marriage or something
(Just kidding Karen!  I know why it is important!)

I've had some good fortune with most of the bouquets I have bought over the years, with the roses lasting for weeks before they finally die off.  I have learned that roses in our house in the summertime are a waste of time and money.  They just wilt in the heat and that has the opposite affect of what I am going for when I bring pretty roses home for my Pretty Lady.

This most recent bunch of roses lasted several weeks, but there is one that is still hanging on amidst the rest that gave up the ghost many days ago.  I'd have thrown them out last week, but this one rose is clinging to life ... So they remain on the ledge between our family room & kitchen.  I have to wonder
how long will this last rose hang in there ?!

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