What Are The Five Secrets To Life ?

One of the books I've recently read suggests that there are five key secrets everyone should discover before they die.  Here is a link to a short intro to the book on if you want to read about it, but I've also listed the title topics of those five secrets below.

Secret #1:  Be True To Your Self

Secret #2:  Leave No Regrets

Secret #3:  Become Love

Secret #4:  Live The Moment

Secret #5:  Give More Than You Take

I highly suggest buying the book or borrowing it from the library and reading it in its entirety.  The author outlines his experiences conducting interviews of hundreds of wise people in their later stages of life.  The common themes of their success, happiness, wisdom, etc. are contained in these secrets.  They provide insight into living a life you'll be glad you lived when you reach that stage of life and look back on how you've spent your time on this earth.

The first secret has been on my mind a lot lately, but I'm not sure I'm any closer to truly living it.  The author suggests the following questions to help you assess whether you are living true to your self:
- Did this day or week feel like my kind of day / week?  What would make tomorrow or next week feel more true to myself?
- Was I the kind of person I wanted to be today / this week?
- Am I following my heart right now?  What would it mean for me to really do that?

I feel the key with this secret is to really ponder and meditate on who you want to be.  I can think of that in smaller increments (good father, loving husband, caring friend, etc.) but other than an unreachable ideal of perfection (i.e. Jesus Christ) I'm not sure I can define an overall person I want to be.  That leaves me wanting when it comes to knowing if my life's work or personality or even hobbies are truly me or if they are where I happen to be and what I happen to be doing.  At least I theoretically have plenty of years left to figure that out and move toward it right?!


Song Of The Day:
Today's song choice is "I'm Not Who I Was" by Brandon Heath.  My favorite part of it is not the lyrics, although those are great, but rather the background vocals on the chorus.  I'm not sure why they capture my attention each time I hear the song, but I love to sing along.  I'm sharing the song because at least with music I feel like I can be true to myself.  I know what I like and what I don't and more importantly, I know why I like what I like (for the most part).  The title of this track also shares a message about how we can change into whoever we truly are and I love that concept and believe it to be true!
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How Do I Decide ?

Life presents us with an infinite number of choices.  Almost every decision has numerous choices or options.  Which choice is right?  Which choice will make me happy?  Which choice will give me more fulfillment?  And most importantly, how do I know which option to choose?

I have been pondering on this for a while and have recently had several conversations that have brought me some clarity around this important question.  These conversations areand feel good about their decision.
 likely an answer to personal prayer, although I have yet to apply the lesson for myself.  Instead, I have simply been fortunate enough to share this thought process with people close to me as they ponder their own important decisions ... and it seems to have helped each of them to commit to a choice

It all begins with defining your core goal.

What, above all else, do you want to accomplish with this decision?

If you can define that core goal, then everything becomes easier to decide between.  I'll use a simple example to make my point.  If your core goal is to lose 5 pounds, then EVERY decision you make (from what to eat, when to eat, whether or not you exercise, etc.) is influenced or compared against that core goal.  You'll find it much easier to have the strength to avoid eating that piece of chocolate if you're truly committed to your core goal.

But how do I define my core goal?  I don't really know what main accomplishment I want to achieve in this situation.

Begin by listing those things which are important to you.  Think broadly.  Consider your bigger goals (think "life's worth" or "legacy" if that helps).  Then bring it down to two or three possible core goals.  Using the earlier example, your goal options could have been: lose weight, have more energy, or live longer through healthier eating.  Once you have that list, create a theoretical situation where you have to pick one over the others and decide what you would choose if that scenario were really happening (example: I could take diet pills to lose lots of weight ... but ... one of the side effects is less energy).  Through a relatively simple process of elimination, you'll find that one core goal always "wins" against the other goals.

This doesn't mean the other goals aren't important, but it allows you to make the majority of your decisions based on the impact to the core goal.  Almost nothing will be sacrificed related to that core goal, but your other goals can be moved to the back burner if there is ever a conflict between those priorities.  This allows you to feel good about all the little decisions that will come up later.  If you find yourself questioning your core goal too often at some point in the future, then you likely need to revisit the initial exercise and re-define your true core goal.

I would suggest that this process is not independent of your other considerations in making decisions.  I certainly advocate involving a higher power through prayer or meditation, but I also believe you will get a better answer if you've reasoned through your choices and instead of asking what to do you are asking for confirmation of the decision you have chosen.  As a parent, I am much more likely to provide comforting support to one of my children if I can tell they have really contemplated their choices and put some real effort into their preferred final decision.


Song Of The Day:
The audio quality on the youtube link is not as great, but the a capella version of "All These Things That I've Done" is fantastic on Spotify.  Sung by Boston University In Achord, this version is every bit as good as the original (linked HERE) by the Killers.  I personally prefer the a capella version, but I've shared both because people have different tastes.  The tie in with the post today is the lyrics saying "you've gotta help me out" and "you're gonna bring yourself down" although they also sing of being put on the back-burner.  Anyway, I think about choices we make and how we often seek help from others and we don't want to bring ourselves down later with stress over poorly thought out decisions.  It's also completely okay to put something else on the "back burner" if it is not as important.  In fact, you'll likely be unhappy on some level until you do prioritize to your core goal (or goals).

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