Dark Chocolate WHAT ?!

Went shopping the other day with my two oldest sons and it was quite fun.  I needed some more peanut butter for sandwiches at work, but while we were picking some out one of my boys (I forget which one) noticed the spread at the right.

I'm not sure that's the best name for your product as it may be a euphemism for something you aren't necessarily trying to promote.


Song Of The Day:
In honor of the great "Weird Al" Yankovic's upcoming CD release, here is the amazing parody "Word Crimes" set to the tune of Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke.  I'm thinking dark chocolate dreams could definitely fit in the blurred lines category ... but maybe it's just a great band name in disguise.

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What's Your Irrational Fear ?

I have a fear of sneezing in front of large groups of people.

No, I am not kidding.  Yes, I do realize this is completely irrational.

What am I worried about?  Well, for starters, I actually worry that some sort of mucus or snot will come out of my nose, or that some phlegm from my throat will launch across the room or table I am seated at and spray all over someone else.  And to compound either worst case scenario described there, I will be completely unprepared and have nothing with which to wipe this disgusting bodily fluid from my own face or the face of anyone I accosted.

The fear is so bad that I have actually trained myself to withhold sneezing during these settings.  This may cause me serious health issues later, but I'm honestly willing to accept them in exchange for not experiencing the awkward sneeze in front of a group.  There is a downside to this skill though, as my face contorts in some odd ways when keeping the sneeze in.  If someone is looking directly at me while I'm doing this, it causes some very odd stares and conversations afterward.  No matter, it is still better than snot missiles or having boogers on my face.


Song Of The Day:
What would a weird post be without a Weird Al song?  It'd be a travesty!  So here is "Gotta Boogie" and if you haven't heard it before, enjoy the lyrics ... they will make you rethink words we use in music (and it just might help ruin any 70's music for you).

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Is That A Headless Santa ?

I really don't think there is much to be said here.  While in ABQ visiting our good friends, we drove past this full sized, headless, santa suit / statue.  Later in the day it was outside the front door of this house, as if to greet visitors, albeit in a completely creepy fashion.

Song Of The Day:
It was impossible not to think of the sarcastically peppy "Christmas At Ground Zero" by Weird Al Yankovic while composing this post.  I enjoyed that song the first time I heard it and it always serves as a perfect antithesis for the spirit of Christmas.  And what is more antithetical than a headless santa in the middle of Springtime in the Albuquerque desert?!

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What Do You Do During A Traffic Jam?

First Denver Nuggets game experience - Post #5

Right off the bat you should be asking yourself "What does a traffic jam have to do with a Denver Nuggets game?" and then you'll find yourself realizing how silly that question sounds.  Of course there will be traffic congestion around a professional sporting event.

Then you'll probably wonder "You just sit in a traffic jam right?!  It's not like you can do much ... especially if you're driving, right?!" ... and now my mom (and probably my wife) will be worried that I wasn't just focused on driving during the traffic jam.

Here's the deal.  On the way back from the game, I hit an absolute standstill of traffic on southbound I-25.  The cars were literally not even moving for minutes on end.  At one point, I know there was no movement for at least 20 minutes, which could be terribly frustrating.  My personal solution (besides sending a few text messages to my wife and my buddy Aaron) was to work on a crossword puzzle from the USA Today app on my iPad (see photo below).

Although traffic can make anyone tense, I found that working on the crossword puzzle helped me to relax and forget about the fact that I was not going to be home until the week hours of the morning (it ended up being around 1:30am when I got home).

I obviously do not recommend texting or playing a game on any electronic device while driving, but in a pinch when the traffic literally isn't moving for minutes at a time, this puzzle was a sanity-saver.


Song Of The Day:
When I think of expanded vocabularies (an benefit of completing crossword puzzles) I think of the TV show Frasier, but I also think of Weird Al Yankovic.  His song "Traffic Jam" is both hilarious and demonstrates his vocabulary and wit.  Of course my favorite part is the nearly excessive repetition of the phrase "bumper to bumper" ... because when you think about it, that is NOT an exaggeration.

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Why Does It Always Take Three Trips ?

I'll spare you the boring and very self-indulgent rant about feeling as there is no end to the To Do List, and simply cut to the chase in this post.

No matter what the project is.  No matter how well it is planned out ahead of time.  No matter how much time you have set aside to complete whatever you're working on.  No matter how many helpers you have.  No matter if you set out all the tools you could conceive of needing to use.  You will always end up making at least three trips to the hardware store (or stores, isn't that fun when it happens?!) when you are doing a home improvement job that someone is often paid to do.

Today the task was reasonably simple: replace the kitchen faucet.

And yet, there it was ... three trips later (to two different stores, of course) before it was all said and done.

You can reason it out all you want.  Make excuses of how you couldn't possibly have foreseen the changes or additions to the original project.  It doesn't matter.  Life would be much easier if I could learn to just accept that I'll need to make three trips.  Then there won't be frustration when the first or second change comes up.  Instead I'd be elated that I only have two or one more trip to make!


Song Of The Day:
What could possibly be a better song for this post than Weird Al's ode to that manliest of manly places: the "Hardware Store" ?!

If you can't commit the full 5 minutes to the video (which was done by a fan and is pretty amazing in itself - it even has outtakes at the end), at least listen to Weird Al's ridiculously amazing list of available items at the hardware store beginning at about 2:30 (min:sec) into the video.  I promise you will NOT be disappointed!

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When Do You Think They Will Notice ?

I am sure this will disappoint some readers, but my family is one of those families that has the "family stickers" on the back of our vehicles.

I know many people who think this is the opposite of cool or have even stronger negative comments that I will not repeat here.  That's okay.  You have your right to your opinion and I'm not judging you for it.  To each their own.  Regardless of which category you fall into, I think everyone can enjoy a little humor here as related to these family stickers.  The following are a few pictures of some stickers I once added to my wife's car and the suburban of our friends in Alabama.

Of course I removed these fairly quickly afterward, but I have decided that it might be fun to add an occasional sticker to random cars and families.  And then see how long it takes them to notice the add-on.  :)

Song Of The Day:
When I think of families and funny I think Weird Al Yankovic.  I can still recall long drives in our car when I would pop in one of my Weird Al cassette tapes and listen to some silly music to pass the time.  "The Brady Bunch" parodies the popular Men Without Hats song "Safety Dance" and feels just right for this post.

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