Does Prioritizing Ever Get Any Easier ?

I constantly struggle to feel good about the order of my priorities.  After spending time in any number of activities, I often found myself reflecting on other things I had NOT done instead during that time.  Depending on the situation, this caused a variety of feelings (see: guilt, inadequacy, heavily burdened, wanting to quit, etc.) and those feelings led me to finding fault or flaws in myself.  I began to believe I was lazy, or maybe another time it found out I dislike spending time with my family, or perhaps the 'real issue' is that I am afraid of trying new things or afraid of change.  But it turns out, it isn't any of those things - which are only true in fleeting moments.  The real challenge is this: After at least 30 years of trying to improve in my ability to effectively prioritize my 'life' it feels like I am no better at it than when I started!

Aren't we supposed to improve as we do things?

What about the following quote?

How are we supposed to feel good about ourselves if we cannot seem to make meaningful, noteworthy progress in all aspects of our humanity?

Why do I constantly find myself wondering if I am spending my time in the BEST activities?  Or creating an endless list of 'Things To Do' which can never fully be finished, only to question items on that list when reviewing it later?  (Ehh, it's not that important to get the oil changed today.  I'll get around to reading that book eventually.  We had a date night last week ... that's good enough, right?!)

Perhaps the answer is echoed in the adage: Those who can't, teach.

Maybe I'm not meant to ever feel good about prioritizing things, but through my example (good or bad) others can learn how to better prioritize for themselves.


Song Of The Day:
With a chorus that include the phrase "Even as we stumble through the darkness and the light - you know these were the best years of our lives." OMD's melancholy love song "Best Years Of Our Lives" feels somehow appropriate for this post.  When I stress about priorities, I always end up calming down by reminding myself that these are some of the BEST years of my life.  It is natural to wonder whether we're doing the best we can and this song helps me reflect on the choices I am making now, hopefully helping me make even better choices going forward.

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How Do You Teach Technology Etiquette ?

Perhaps the better title of this post would have been "Just because we can does it mean we should ?" but that may be misleading or altogether confusing.  I'm specifically only referring to etiquette when using technology for communication purposes.

It is almost mind-boggling to consider the communication options that technology affords us.  I remember it being less than a decade ago when I had my first workplace video conference call.  I found it amazing to be able to see and hear business partners that were thousands of miles away.  Sure the images were limited and a little grainy, but I was in awe (and this even with my employer's technology being well behind the curve at that time with the equipment we were using).

Fast forward to this year.  I have been on a few video chats with many different people from many miles away ... on my PHONE!  The picture and sound quality are much better than they were in that office chat, and at least one of these situations involved multiple devices being connected (i.e. my phone to someone else's tablet and they are connected to someone else's phone).  Simply AMAZING right?!

And yet ... the social etiquette of these face to face conversations was nothing near what it would have been had we been speaking in person.  This has also been the case when I have received phone calls during a time that text messaging would have been more appropriate to the topic of conversation.  It also goes the other way, where we get so used to texting others that we forget the option we have to actually call and verbally converse with one another.

It seems to me that we'd all be better served to consider the time, place, mode, and purpose of conversations we are having through use of any electronics.
Does everyone need to be connected in on this call or video chat?  Does this need to be discussed now or would it be better after kids and pets have gone to bed or outside?  Wouldn't it be easier to text since the connection is spotty?

Bottom line: just because the technology exists doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.


Song Of The Day:
I'm sharing "Talking Loud And Clear" by OMD with today's post.  You've likely never heard this song before, but it's a classic 80's synth-pop tune.  But that isn't why it relates to today's post.  If you take the 4 minutes to listen to the tune, I suggest paying attention to the lyrics as they are poetic and beautiful.

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Do You Ever Feel Like Your Life Is The Truman Show?

If you need an explanation on that cultural reference, I suggest you educate yourself by reviewing the link here about the movie The Truman Show.

It is obviously not logistically possible, but there continue to be so many times I have felt like my life is really some version of The Truman Show.

A few examples should illustrate the perceived logic behind my clearly illogical paranoia:
- At work, when I'm quietly finding myself feeling very demotivated or bored, things just happen to change dramatically to create more excitement or motivation.
- At home, when I'm feeling stressed about the kids or my relationship with my wife, things just happen to fall into place that strengthen my family connections or simplify challenging times.
- Socially, when I'm lamenting my absence from certain activities and then all of a sudden going to a Nuggets game just happened to come around; or someone invites our family for a visit.

I'm obviously not that important, but doesn't it sometimes feel like you are the center of the world for a moment?  How could this stuff happen if not some sort of intervention, divine or man-made?

Maybe it's just me ... but I doubt it!


Song Of The Day:
It's high time for another OMD song and I have one that fits perfectly with this post.  When I am feeling like the center of the universe in some weird way, I feel like the world is collectively saying to me: "We Love You" ... This tune has a bit of a haunting melody, which captures the weird feeling I have when things just happen to fall into place in my life.  I believe most of what happens is a result of choices, but sometimes, some things are almost unexplainable.

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Yeah, But Do You Have A Restaurant Named After You ?!

In the past few months I have been at the Pepsi Center twice.  It was on my second trip there that I realized there is a bar / restaurant that bears the name of my oldest daughter.

I don't know anything about this establishment, but I have made a commitment to take my daughter there soon and get a picture of her in front of it!
I am sure it is not that uncommon, considering how many restaurants and bars are in existence, but this is the first time anyone in my family's name has been so prominent on a building!


Song Of The Day:
From their best (in my opinion) CD, here is "Call My Name" by my favorite group OMD.  If it were my name up on the building, I'd be sure to make a big deal out of it any time we were nearby.  In fact, it would probably become my Facebook photo and cover image too.

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What Do You Mean By "Master" ?

This past week, I experienced another "when did I get to be this old?" moment: High School Orientation for my oldest son Josh Jr.  It feels like no small coincidence that this very year is my 20-year high school graduation reunion.  A double dose of feeling my age: boom, BOOM!

But today's post isn't about being old.  Instead it is based on the picture I took below.

It is harder to read than I hoped, but the last line of the class description says:
"Students will master golf, racquet sports, ping pong, archery ..."

So the sign up process for classes seems much more streamlined than when I went to high school, but that much should probably be expected.  I was reasonably impressed by the different elective options that Josh Jr has for consideration through these next four years.  Even I wanted to sign up for some of the classes!

What I am not a fan of is the misleading verbiage that was used in the picture above.  I'm all about life-long physical fitness and learning the rules and gaining experience participating in different sporting activities.  But let's carefully consider whether it is appropriate to promise that students will master these various games.  You may master some of the skills.  You may master the terminology and regulations.  But come on?!  If you could "master" these sports through this class, don't you think everyone would be taking it?!  Even professional (see: paid lots of money for playing their sports) athletes aren't "masters" of their disciplines.  To be a "Master" is to perform even further beyond professionals.  It is the pinnacle.  The top.  The best of the best of the best.

It already feels like it's going to be a LOOOOOONG four years!


Song Of The Day:
It's been far too long since I featured a song by my favorite group: OMD.  One of their more popular songs from the 80's was "Dreaming" and it fits today because ... this instructor is only dreaming if they think high school students will master these sports in a single class, let alone a single semester!

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Have I Been Going About This All Wrong?

I've begun working out again (P90X) but decided to switch my workouts to the mornings, since everyone kept telling me working out in the evenings is wrong, etc.  Although that part is true, my real reason for moving the workouts to the morning is simply because my evenings are too busy with work, scouts, church basketball, and a little thing I like to call eating.

The thing is, since making the switch I've only been successful on getting the workout in about 50% of the time ... but I have uncovered success in another area that has been a challenge for me for many, many years - waking up earlier.

I may not get up to work out, but I get up and get started on the day earlier (if only to avoid guilt for not working out) and that is becoming easier and easier.  I cannot justify staying in bed when I know I need to work out ... but if I convince myself to do something else at that early hour, it's not as bad as just sleeping later.  Maybe I can become a morning person.

Regardless, I wonder if this is some small secret to making improvements in life that stick.  Perhaps it's not about the goal itself at all.  Perhaps we simply need to find something we dislike more than the goal we want to achieve and set a goal around that thing.  So instead of eating just salads, we set a goal to eat rice cakes ... and then the salads look pretty tasty.  Instead of painting the living room and kitchen, we set a goal to paint the whole house ... and so on.

I'll let everyone know if that keeps working for me ... so far, it has.


Song Of The Day:
I haven't featured a song from my favorite group in a while, so here is "Sunday Morning" by OMD.  I know Maroon 5 had a recent popular song of the same name, but they are not the same tune at all.  Take a listen and let me know what you think.  The only tie in to my post today is that it's talking about the morning and this kind of tune makes me think about a lazy morning when you don't rush to get going on anything at all.

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Have I Created A Monster ?

Tonight, during her birthay party sleepover, I overheard my oldest daughter Brooklyn say the following to her peers:  "Okay.  So you all need to remember if you're the last person coming upstairs you need to make sure you turn off all the lights.  Because I just went downstairs and every light was on.  The movie room.  The bedroom.  In the hallway.  That's not okay guys so remember that, okay?!"

She then went on to make sure all of her friends said okay and they went on playing.

Oh boy!

While I am proud of her commitment to not wasting energy, etc. I think I may need to talk to her about timing of sharing that message.  Not the best at a birthday party!  :)


Song Of The Day:
I have actually already posted a comment on Facebook about the "stats" for tonight's party, but as a reminder ... myself and Spencer (9 months old) are the only males in this house right now.  In honor of all that estrogen, I revert back to "Women III" which is one of my favorite OMD songs.  The lyrics don't apply, but there are just so many females here ... driving me crazy!

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What Was Your Goal ?

July is always mid-year evaluation time at Progressive.  This is a time when I, as a Supervisor (with about 22 employees who directly report to me) invest significant time assessing their individual performance thus far this year.  I am under the obligation to write a Performance Evaluation for each employee, providing ratings in about 5 or 6 major areas of performance.  I also provide an overall performance rating and then discuss these results with each person individually.  This last step often includes goal setting and very rarely, some revision to the evaluation I have put together.

I take these "check ins" very seriously.  My personal goal is for there to be absolutely NO surprises for these employees as they review what I have written.  I expect them to remember conversations we have had earlier this year and when they read their PE (performance evaluation), they should come away with two things: knowledge of their strengths and opportunities ... and ... knowledge that I am aware of and care about what they are doing in their role.

Without intending to sound prideful about it, I must say that it is always rewarding when I achieve these goals, which I have done consistently for the past 3 or 4 years at least.  There is something gratifying about being on the same page with an employee whose performance you are somewhat responsible for.  I say "somewhat" because ultimately it is always every employee's individual responsibility for their own results.  The Manager, Supervisor, Leader, or Boss merely influences and supports the employee achieving or exceeding their goals.

With that in mind, I have to say, I am often disappointed when I receive my own PE, especially around the mid-year time.  I have yet to report to a Manager who seems to put as much energy into this process as I do.  I have felt for the past several years (at least 3), that my PE was simply a box that needed to be checked off for my boss.  Even if the words that are written are generally positive and the ratings are accurate, I always hope for a brief recap at the start of my Manager's goal in writing what they did.  Am I supposed to be motivated?  Should I feel bad for failures or missed opportunities?  Is my performance headed in the right direction?

Sadly, the presentation of my mid-year PE today was NOT accompanied with clearly defined answers to these questions.  I am grateful for the opportunity to ask them directly to my boss next week, but I fear it will be a stressful couple of days until I can clarify the intent of her writing and ratings.


Song Of The Day:
It's been way too long since I last shared an OMD song, so here is "Was It Something I Said" from their best CD: Sugar Tax.  If you ever find yourself in a position where you are expected to judge performance and write about it on an individual level, may I suggest that you set expectations for your direct reports BEFORE delivering the evaluation?  From my limited experience, it makes a BIG difference!

BONUS - While pulling this song of the day, I came across a Mash-Up of this song and Rihanna's Pon De Replay.  Here it is, titled simply "Was It De Replay" ... what do you think?

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Are You Trying To Make Me Drop My Change ?

I understand that many people use a debit or credit card when purchasing their meals at fast food places nowadays, but there are many of us who still primarily deal in cash and coins.

I am one of those who prefers to have the bills or change in my pocket and use real money to pay for things.  This is especially true when I'm getting lunch from any number of restaurants with a drive-thru window.  But this presents the same problem every single time ...

Without fail, the employee who hands me back my change places any coins on top of any bills being returned to me.  Why?!  Why do they do this?!

I have learned to be prepared for this and twist my body sideways so I can catch my change with two hands ... but there have been at least a half dozen times in my life when the coins have just rolled off the bills and onto the ground in the dirty drive-thru lane.

And those coins are gone once that happens because I'm not digging through squished gum blobs and soil-covered fries or straw wrappers for 17 cents!

Song Of The Day:
I promise this is a true story although it will sound made up.  The song today is "Christine" by OMD and that was the name of the last drive-thru employee who actually handed me my change first and then placed the bills in my hand.  I remembered her name because I thought that would be a good blog post idea and a great excuse to use this awesome song from my favorite musical group!

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Ever Have A Hard Day ?

Today wasn't necessarily that hard, but when you're not feeling the best even the simplest of tasks can feel extremely difficult.

I think it's time for some orange juice and extra sleep (early bedtimes don't have to just be for the kids now do they?!)

Song Of The Day:
Although this isn't the best version of this song, you can get the general gist from this live performance of "Hard Day" by OMD (Orchestral Manouevers in the Dark).  This song is one of my favorites from arguably my favorite group of all time.  Doesn't necessarily make me feel bere speaks to me when I've had a tough day (or couple of days).