Who Do People Expect You To Be ?

Sundays are great days to reflect and ponder on life.  In my house there are not usually "quiet" moments, but Sundays offer the best chances for a few minutes.

Today I have been thinking alot about my relationships with others.  Specifically, I have been reflecting on interactions from the preceding weeks where people around me seemed to expect certain reactions or behaviors from me in specific situations.  In some cases, I met their expectations by acting or being a certain way.  But in others, my actions or opinions seemed to surprise people greatly.  And I began to wonder if I am consistent in who I am and what I believe and how that rationale is implemented across all aspects of my life.

Some questions I asked myself included:

 - What do people count on me for?

 - What do people expect my action or reaction to be in certain circumstances?
 - Are my actions demonstrating my faith and beliefs?
 - Does how I spend my time support what I tell others is important to me?  Or is it contradictory, thus causing them to question my honesty and self-awareness?
And lastly ...
 - How would I live differently if I knew people were watching me and expecting me to handle situations in a certain way?
 - Would it give me strength in difficult situations?
 - Would it provide me with an ability to make wiser choices?

As with many of my posts, I do not have answers.  I only hope to share questions that may be of use to those who read these 'ramblings.'  I think we all can influence and be influenced for good.  Let us take time to reflect on the past and renew our commitments for the future.


Song Of The Day:
Of course I love a cappella music and the song "Take Me As I Am" by Completely Different Note is a great one for this post.  Although the message of the tune is more about learning to love again, the title ties in with the subject of this post.  Apologies for the mediocre recording of this song.

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Why Do We Judge Others So Quickly ?

I have friends who are quick to judge certain people without anything more than sound bites of information about them.  Political personalities (Obama, Bush, etc.), celebrities of any level (Justin Bieber, Paula Dean, etc.), and even athletes (Tiger Woods, Danica Patrick, etc.) seem to be most susceptible to this kind of polarizing reaction.  I do not understand the phenomenon, but it is worth thinking about on a slightly deeper level.

What is is about pop culture that inspires such swift and most often negative reactions to people we do not personally know?  I am not defending individuals who actually may be horrible people, but should we judge them just based on what we hear in the media or from our friends?  I just wish we do a little research of our own before we make a judgement and then commit to it so strongly.  Without really digging into why decisions were made or trying to understanding that person's perspective, I worry that we are setting ourselves up for some very harsh judgement in that great and final day.  I for one, would appreciate knowing that whoever judges me took the time to think about my thought process before deciding that I lived a less-than-proper lifetime.

On some level, I actually believe that we will be our own judge when this life is over.  But instead of sitting down and defending our own life's choices, we will be forced to accept our earthly judgement of others in similar situations as our own fate.  The slight possibility that this might be remotely accurate gives me enough pause to curb my reactions and judgements, if only to try and understand the situation a little better.  Even if I am completely wrong, I feel better in this life for trying to withhold judgement ... and I have had my initial reactions proven inaccurate often enough to delay any future strong judgements.


Song Of The Day:
Blake Shelton's song "Who Are You When I'm Not Looking" is more about love than judging people, but I still think it applies here.  We are looking at wht the media shows us about people in pop culture, but rarely take the time to dig deeper.  Blake sings over and over again in this song "I wanna know, I wanna know" and I think that curiosity is better than possibly misjudging someone.

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What Makes A Good Day Off ?

It has been many, many years since I have taken a true "day off" from work.  This does not mean I have worked every day straight for many years, but time off that I have scheduled away from the office has all been for a designated purpose: family vacation, scout activities, helping someone move, medical or dental appointments, etc.

Today, I was scheduled off with quite literally NO SET PLANS.

And what a glorious day it has been!  :)

Now, my version of a great day off is decidedly different from probably most people in the world.  Let me describe to you what I've done today and you can see if anything on this list fits your version of a great day with no set plans.

The day started later than normal as I was able to sleep in for about an hour (thanks to my sweet wife who made this possible).  I enjoyed a leisurely breakfast, during which I read some of the most recent issue of Sports Illustrated (a pretty neat "Where Are They Now?" issue, that includes an update on all the kids from the movie "The Sandlot").

After getting ready for the day, I headed outside and completed about two dozen tasks or projects that have been calling my name for a long time.  During which time, I listened to song after song on Pandora radio on my iPhone.  That alone was very relaxing!  Here are some of the projects / tasks I got done today in just 5 or 6 hours.
 - I cleared out junk from the last junky area of my garage.
 - I insulated the panels, installed sheet rock, and filled the cracks and holes.
 - I organized the remaining sheet rock and assorted items that needed to be kept in the garage.
 - I moved wood, extra insulation, and assorted other items to the backyard shed.
 - I cleaned and folded the landscape fabric I have collected from the rock sections that have been cleared in the front yard.  This included discarding the pieces that were not worth saving to reuse, while separating the other pieces by size (for easy use later when I put rocks back down in the front yard).
 - I piled up the dead weeds, grasses, and bush trimmings on the side yard, to be burned once I have a nice fire pit in the backyard.
 - I cleared and leveled an area behind the back fence where I moved our garbage cans from the garage (this has been bugging me for a LONG time!)
 - I replaced the broken wheel on my wheelbarrow with one from my neighbor.  I plan to return my "almost new" wheelbarrow to him once the moving of rocks is done.
 - I hung camp chairs, an ironing board, two bikes, and assorted swim / snow stuff in the garage.
 - I installed heavy duty hooks to hold both new ladders I got from my parents (an older extension ladder and a 10-foot heavy duty ladder.  They look NICE on the side of the garage, if I do say so myself.
 - I connected and lightly covered with dirt the 4-inch plastic drain pipe on the front of the house ... just before it really started raining!
 - Then I stood in the pouring rain for probably 5 minutes just letting myself get soaked to the bone.  It felt so good after getting hot and sweaty all afternoon.
 - And lastly, I swept out the garage and dry portions of the front driveway.

This evening I will join up with my wife (she has been at the pool with most of our kids, after doing lots of homework for her online classes) and enjoy dinner out with some great friends.  After which, we will get kids in bed and then head over to their home to play some games and hang out.

The hanging out is the icing on the cake to a great "free" day.  It feels like a hard-earned reward for a hard day working on things that I wanted to do and not what someone else asked or told me to do.  I'm not big on sitting around very much, especially when there is stuff to be done.  But when it gets done, I love sitting back and feeling great about being good and productive.

How about you?  Anything from my "great day off" make it on your list?

Song Of The Day:
Today's song is "Great Day To Be Alive" by Travis Tritt.  I've liked this song for many years and it came to mind while writing this post.  His great day is certainly nothing like mine, but the message is that any day can be a great day to be alive.

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What Do You Do With Charcoal Waste ?

Happy 4th of July 2013!

On this day of grilling (arguably the most American grilling day ever!), I simple pose the question, to which I have no answer, nor have a researched it, nor do I plan to research it, as stated in the blog post title.

I prefer charcoal grilling to propane, if only to appease the pyromaniac in me.  Others can argue all they want about the taste or the cost or the clean-up or the time it takes.  I've got a nice charcoal grill and I like using lighter fluid.  I like the smell of charcoal.  I like my charcoal cylinder (a must have if you plan to grill as often as I do).

I do not like the charcoal waste, if only because I do not know what to properly do with it.  Do I just bag it after it cools and throw it in the trash?  Can it be used for some greater purpose?  Yard or garden fertilizer?  Special effects in a low-budget movie where you need a cloud of smoke-looking "poof" effect?

Just wondering ...


Song Of The Day:
The word "Phoenix" refers to rising from the ashes and this song by Brandeis University's Voicemale a cappella group is a perfectly suited tune for the day and subject matter of this post.  Plus it is just an absolutely amazing song!
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Where Has This Radio Station Been ?

I am not sure if this radio station has been around for a long time or is just based in Pueblo and now has a better signal or perhaps has just changed its music format, but I LOVE the easy listening they play in the mornings before their Radio Shopping Show and Pros On Call mid-day segments!  Better yet, on evenings and weekends the music is almost exclusively smooth jazz music, which you just could not find on the radio in Colorado Springs for the past half-decade or more.

I would not call myself a jazz aficionado, but I really enjoy most of the music.  Whether working in the yard, or lying in bed to nod off to sleep, or just reading a good book, jazz music keeps my mind active without distracting me from the task at hand.  And I might be turning into a softie, but the easy listening favorites from the late 70's through today are some of my favorite kinds of music to listen to, especially on the otherwise stressful commute home from work.

I am so glad to have found this station!

Song Of The Day:
It would be near sacrilege to NOT use a jazz song for today's post, so here is "The Real Thing" by Bobby Caldwell.
And yes, I did hear this recently on Easy 101.

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Worth Every Penny ?

I have had several experiences recently where I have spent money on things that were "wants" and not "needs."  That said, I am convinced that whether something is a want or a need is not the only criteria for whether or not it was wise to spend money on.  A better measurement would be to ask yourself "Did I get a good value for the money I spent?"  In business this boils down to ROI (return on investment), but we often do not think of our ROI on a more personal level.

Here are three recent examples where I realized that my ROI was good, great, or an absolute steal:
 - Landscape Story #1 ... Part of our front yard plan involves removing rocks from several areas and expanding our grass, or installing decorative borders and mulch (around the shrubs, bushes, and tree).  Moving rocks is good, hard, physical labor.  It is rewarding but exhausting.  So in two separate situations, I hired my two oldest sons to clear one section of rock together for $50, and I hired my nephew Alex to move rocks from 3 other sections for $50 each.  Trust me when I say, that $200+ investment was a very good deal.  My back is especially grateful!

 - Music ... While I enjoy "free" anything, including music, there are some songs, artists, or genres that I want access to on a variety of listening devices.  I purchased a six-song EP from my cousin's a capella group, where they cover several recently popular songs.  I have listened to these songs for hours over the past week or two, on neighborhood evening walks with my wife, while working in the yard, and at work while reading business updates.  The $7 has been returned to me in hours of enjoyment as I appreciate the harmonies and unique arrangements of familiar tunes.

 - Lanscape Story #3 ... In order to install sprinklers in our large front easement, I needed to punch a hole under the sidewalk.  This is also a laborious task that sounds much easier than it actually is.  After digging with shovels and shovel-like tools for a few hours, I went to the store and bought a 5-foot piece of 4-inch wide pvc pipe to push through the hole under the sidewalk.  Using a crowbar as a hammer, and some brute force, I was able to finish the tunnel in less than 30 minutes.  That was well worth the $4 it cost for the pvc pipe, even if I never re-use it.

So before you allow yourself to feel good or guilty about spending money on "non-essential" items, just think about the ROI you will get from them.  If it is equal to or greater than the price, I say BUY !!!  :)


Song Of The Day:
It almost seems unfair to pick just one song to share, but it's gotta be "Haven't Met You Yet" by Eclipse.  My cousin James sounds excellent on this one and is featured prominently!  Love this version better than the original!  If you're wondering, my cousin is dropping that beastly bass line (wearing the glasses).

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How Important Is Planning ? Part 2

Often, there are many steps that need to be taken on a project.  But how do you know what comes first if you don't stop to think about the plan?  This is why there are people designated to be Project Managers.  You may have found yourself questioning why someone gets paid money to simply organize the order of things that needs to be done.  The thought "This person isn't even doing any work!" may have crossed your mind.  Allow me to defend this person for a moment, using a recent project that I probably should have actually hired someone to "manage."

Late last year my wife and I discussed, at great length, our plans to redo our landscaping this year.  The list of 4-5 projects we wanted to complete by the end of summer continued to expand with every discussion.  I soon realized that I needed to outline these various "major" projects so that I would not forget them.  Upon writing them down, I came to the further realization that I needed to organize these projects because there are stages of progression and I would need to follow a certain order ... unless I wanted to move rocks and dirt multiple times.  Only those who have never moved rocks or dirt could find this unimportant!

Ultimately, the list of about 8 "major" projects ballooned out to about 75-100 tasks, ranging from 2-10 hours of work each.  Sadly, that list (and those estimated times to complete them) has expanded further as each "major" project nears completion.  But, in defense of project management, the hours invested in outlining the initial plan have certainly saved literally weeks of work.
Planning has also allowed me to accept that our backyard will be a next year project (barring some minor miracle in the front yard in the coming 4-6 weeks).  For those who know me, this could have been a devastating blow to my psyche, but planning allowed me to take it in stride.


Song Of The Day:    
So the song that came to mind is "Your Move" because of the chess theme where you need to be thinking a few moves ahead to win.  There is a need for strategy when managing a large project and if you're not careful you could literally paint yourself into a corner.
The version above is by the great band Yes, but The Duke's Men of Yale recently did an a capella version of the song that I like much more.  Sadly, it is not on youtube (yet).  I plan to remedy that travesty once these yard projects are done.

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